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Show HERE'S WHERE THE LAUGH COMES IN CHEER UP 1 NOAH'S DISCIPLINE. Life. "Your children are so well behaved," said Mrs. Blndad to Mrs. Noah, after the Noah family had established itself on the 'slopes of Ararat, "How do you compel . them to act to nicely?" "Well." smiled Mrs. Noah, "ever since x we made that trip in the ark, all their papa has to do is to threaten to take tgem to the next circus that comes along if they are not good." HE WAS FLOURISHING. Judge. ' "I hear that Jlmpkins is geUlng along fine In the city," aald Blobbson. "I suppose he Is, maybe; but I never thought he would," commented Nlverly. "His 'father told me he was flourishing, though." ' "Yes, he is. He is teaching penmanship." penman-ship." i ' v ' INDIFFERENT. Chicago Tribune. "How are your sympathies In this Eastern East-ern fuss?" they asked him. "Oh, I don't care which whips," returned re-turned the veteran war correspondent, with a bored look. "I've traveled in a Jlnrikisha and I've traveled in a drosky, and one tires me about as much as the other." REVISED VERSIONS. Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Don't count on chicken In chicken hash. A single quill makes a goose of many men. When the wife's away, hubby takes In th shows he forgets to tell about. HIS NEW LIBRARY. Cleveland Plain Dealer. "And what is the main building to be used for, Mr. Bryan?" "That will hold th scrap books containing contain-ing my speeches." TAnd tae little annex in the rear?" ' "That's for general literature." - - - WHAT HE OFFERED. Judge. Mrs. Jackson Yo ought ter be ashamed of yo'salf ter let a poor, weak woman lalk me bring up de coal an' split de wood. Mr. Jackson Wa-ai, habn't I repeatedly offered ter gib yo' physlcal-cultsher lessons, les-sons, so as ter increase yo'r strength? . AN ACCIDENTAL HOLD-UP. Judge. 1 Camp Fire Jim Are y locoed, yew blame Shorthorn? I ain't hSldln' yew up. Rustling Rube Them guns o' yourn has got human intelligence, Jim. I won't chance comln' down till ye mart 'em. A NEW VOGUE. Punch. Lady Caller Is Mrs. Hamilton at home? Maid No, mum. Lady Caller But I thought this was her "at home" day. Maid So it used to be, mum, but she's had no time for it since she took up "Cruelty "Cru-elty to Children." |