| Show WALTER WINCHELL ON BROADWAY BROADW A Y Copyright 1933 Daily Mirror Inc EGOTIST Theres There's not a thing Id I'd care to change in you Your voice is soft and soothing as the rain ThereS There's lure and arid grace in anything you ou do As I have told you time and time again You dance divinely own divinely own a clever line Youre You're tactful tactful and and nd unruffled day dayon on day In n fact incessant thrills run up my spine Whenever fancy sends you ou down may way wa Im I'm certain that m my passion is b sincere Sin Sincere sin sin- n. n cere I know your equal simply cant can't exist And yet Im I'm doomed to court you vainly dear A sorry lad disgruntled and dismissed dismissed dis dis- dis missed For though youre you're loved to death by me as few are arem are are- Im I'm not as much in love with you youRS you you- as RS you OU are Don Don Wahn Waha S S S CAPSULE CRITICISM Added to our already long list of cutting cracks from rom caustic critics s is the one for lor which Edward Knopf pf was v the target It was when he hada had a speck of a part in The Czarina which starred Doris Keane ever so long ago Knopf merely walked across the tiny stage once One critic said of ot his performance Too bad the play isn't over at the Hippodrome so so he could have had hada a bigger part 0 S INCIDENTALLY And in covering Katherine Cornell Cor Cor- Cornell Cornell nell in The Green Hat Alexander Alexander Alexan Alexan- der reported The curtain dropped in the second act nd to denote a lapse of virtue 5 OF ALL REMARKS Ben Bards Bard's favorite earthquake story deals with the newcomer to Los Angeles who vho was taking his first masseuse rub down and socking around The earth shook vio yb- But he wasn't impressed and md kept dozing Good yelled a pal you feel teel that Its It's an earthquake It is was vas the indifferent re retort re re- tort I 1 thought it was part of the treatment c. c SS IZZY ELl King Kong further proof that movie producers are always giving jobs sobs to relatives EPITAPH I It was over at the Writers' Writers club luncheon the other noon noon and ex ex- were reminiscing about upon once They finally came carne around to an unpopular critic get get that for tor a study in redundancy redundancy ancy Poor bum remarked one of the listeners he died without a mourner Shucks pouted a former farmer victim one funeral I 1 wanted to go 10 to w w w HEBERER The latest quip on Marx the theone theone theone one they bring on for tor bows is that called up the studios and said Have they started making the Marx Brothers picture yet S SS GAG Take it from Gregory of the coast version of Century a pair of time small movie producers met at Vine and Hollywood boule boule- vard yard Well Moe sighed the first Me- Me we jost de peek peek- J So how is it Colossal S S S SIN IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW The big idea when they turn the gun guns on you ou U is 3 to survive the bom born We can remember all 11 the way vay back when adverse cri criticism worried u. u us for us-for for fear that it would retard whatever progress there was to achieve After youve you've felt elt the splinters that come with the breaks the popgun ammunition merely merely mere mere- ly keeps you chuckling when and it if of course youre you're ticklish Here are a few people and things that still survive after going through the acid test from irom the severest criticism criticism cism Rudy Vallee the Ford car the Ingersoll Ingerson vatch watch Greta Garbo the Swiss navy y na Texas Guinan Paul McCullough McCullough McCullough Mc- Mc Cullough Joan n Crawford the Boston Boston Boston Bos Bos- ton baked bean Ben Bernie e and limburger limburger lim- lim burger cheese S e S S LOVE IS LIKE THAT They both were known to stage and ond screen audiences before belore Hollywood Hollywood Holly HoUy wood brought them greater fame and fortune She prospered on the New NewYork NewYork NewYork York stage stage and and he worked when he could get it One day she arrived in Los Angeles Angel a B little broke and went straight to his elegant apartment where the she he in instructed instructed in in- all her luggage to be ered the idea he asked Lissen dearie deane she responded I took care of ot you when nobody else would on Broadway Now you worry about me met Then the they were married He was Edmund Lowe and she was Lilyan Its It's little things like that that that-that that make big paragraphs paragraphs para para- graphs like th these e. e S S ADD SIMILES Adolph As false as a 2 clarinet TRICK You probably know the story but dont don't be a nuisance Its It's my column anyhow Its It's about the time Rockne's Rockue's team was being whipped at Soldiers' Soldiers field by the University of Southern California When the first hat half ended ended end end- ed Rockne walked over to his teams team's undressing room room and and paused after opening the door Oh I 1 Rockne ex exclaimed exclaimed ex ex- claimed I 1 thought this was the Notre Dame teams team's room Then He ne walked away The devastating sarcasm they say was so effective Notre Dame went back for the second half halt and practically murdered the use eleven cleven before winning S 5 MERCILESS TRUTH Con Conrad who Russ Colombo and one one of the better song song- smiths said the Jack Warner the movie magnate Thanks to you and Street the Street the songwriters songwrIters' are coming back to Holl Hollywood Yes Warner the hotels here win will finally get their towels bade back S S S now HOW YOU CAN TELL The honeymoon is over says Mack Gordon when the they talk about the weather and mean it it The honey honeymoon moon is over Lou Holz when he lie keeps his arms cross crossed d atthe nt at the movies j Dave Alber says the honeymoon is over when he keeps his hat on in the elevator A. A K says ays the honeymoon is end ended d when she asks him if he has a match and he says without removing his eyes es from the newspapers The matches matche are over there on there on the table No war vas was ever started by an any war department It was alwa always s 's started started start start- ed by persons or interests outside Instead of war department it should be called peace department as its mission mis mis- sion Sian is to maintain peace Secretary Secretary of War George H. H Dern Dent |
