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Show Hjtljlj Cora show at the chiropodist's. Hfjljj) The way of the standpatter is hard. 1 1! J Never look a gift apple in the worm lil J Anywa3-t ihifi is better than poinj; Bill Perhaps Doctor Cook is merely wait- H : ing for the (So say we all." H H Jjomo men call their, noon-day meal HiH luneji, while others- call it luck. ' BIB . Spcakinx of Convict Morse, now how HjHg would you like to he the ice mau? KB ' Most men will clutch at a straw, pro- HjjB vidod there he a .iulep at the end-of it. Hjjfi Oue bad thing about a verbal agree- HiH merit is that it can't be shown in proof HjjH Political pie is cut with the same Ifljjj snickersnee that is used for lopping ofl' n i Sometimes a man who gets religion HH is no fearful of losing it that he puts it HjMfJ I in u5 life's name. Hlw j Viewing a renowned college football Hit ' team, ihc baldhcaded man naturally Hmjj ''' longs for Yale locks, Hjfi It is about as bad on one's reputation H W to search for the north pole as it is to II run. for political office. Il 1he difference between a painter and I ' an" artist is that the one makes moriey, liB i nnd the other doesn't. II Men who complain that, their wives 19 never look hnppj" should accompany HHi them to a bargain, sale. I Bi! Since his lecture tour proved to be so HBE profitable, Doctor Cook is not now in. HjlYn a need of a relief expedition. I ID Concerning that "scrap" in Con- IBS gross. Secretary Knox will say that it lH 's bettor to bo in not al all than to be HjH: Apostle Hcber .1. Grant is so do- HjH termined to become a singer that ho is HHL said to have resorted to a diet of HH To kiss a girl is not to propose to IjB ocr according to the decision of n Jsc- liB braskn .iudge. But it smocks of some- I H No wonder they have so mnnj strikes HH n clock factories, with the hands work- HB ing tw.cnty.four hours a day, and never HB a rest for the faces. HH Rnl tnc coal dealern arc reminded HlR that it is extremely diilicult for men to IB lieep their houses and families warm HH merely by the fire of their genius. HH "Doctor," explained an applicant HjjB for advice, "my left, leg is longer than HjB my right, causing me to limp badly. What would you do in such a case?" Him - "Well," (seeing no fee in sight) "J HH - guess I'd limp, too." I vcw of tho wonders performed in BjB ''n0 f modern inventions we are HB bout 'ready to believe anything in me BlB inics; but they'll still' have to go IjB core wo aro aljIo to revert to HjB nld l,cIicf in tho Kooly motor. HjB ''Bid that 'billiards and pool on HB V l'iVC bccn mn(Iq possible Hil invention of u nclf-levcltng HB accommodates itself to ovcrj- movement of tho vessel. Probably Prob-ably the only thing lacking to perfection perfec-tion is tho invention of solf-lovoling players. . |