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Show Sooieraer Saved by Happy Thought. His Face Was Very Red but His Explanation Was Satisfactory. At Least, It Was So to His Wife, If Not. to Others. WASHINGTON. Feb. 12.-Whon tho tall end of the bllrard that played such hob In Now York and tho West struck Washington Wash-ington last week somo of tho statesmen from the South began drinking hot npplo toddles to keep out the cold. It snowed for twonty-four hours, and the session at tho bars was prolonged. A very distinguished, dis-tinguished, statesman drank many toddles. Usually pale of face, he became redder and redder an tho toddles began to get in their work, and when he went to dinner his face was the color of a cardinal's cap. "My dear," asked his anxious wife as he hovo In view, "what makes your face so red?" The distinguished Southern slates-man slates-man paused to reply. He needed an excuse ex-cuse and needed it badly. Then he was hit by a happy thought. He gazed animatedly ani-matedly out at the swirling snow and said: "Why. my dear, I have been sitting out In the sun for an hour or two." Kicked on Canary Seed. The Hon. Bird S. McGuIre. Delegate from Oklahoma, received a letter rrom a constituent today which rend. ' Dear Mr. McGuIre I enjoyed that last package pack-age of garden and tlower seeds you sent me very much. I wish yon would send me somo more garden seeds and send a few llowcr seeds to my wife. But please do not send her any canary seeds. If von did she might eat them nnd try to sing, nnd God knows I have troubles enough now." One on Bailey. Senator Bailey of Texas was delivering an Impassioned ten-minute speech In favor of the admission of New Mexico as a separate State. lie spoke of what tho men who settled New England had done for the New World, and continued: "Shall not their sons nnd grandsons who have penetrated the wilderness of the Southwest nnd there set up their homes have a chance to reduplicate the work of their fathers?" . "Oh, Mr. President, ' sxid Sonator Spooner of Wisconsin, hopping up excitedly, ex-citedly, "I want to say to yon that thefco Mexicans and Spnnlards who make up CO per cent of the population are neither their sons nor their grandsons." Did Not Know Limitations. A man went Into the general reading loom of the Congressional library the other day to get some specific data for a paper ho was writing. He told an .'ttendanl h wanted to find out something some-thing about some Papal bulls, and asked if they had any record of anything any-thing of the kind. He had never been in the reading room before, and ho did not know the limitations of some of its attendants. Me selected a desk and sat dewn. At the end of half an hour the attendant returned. "I think, sir." he said, "you may find what you want here," nnd he- laid before him un Agricultural aepartmont r?port, opened at an article on cattle. Diverted Her Suspicions. A distlngulsheJ Southern statesman tarried tar-ried long with convivial friends a fow afternoons af-ternoons ago. When 11 cume time for him lo go to dinner, ho was somewhat unsteady, un-steady, but very dignified. He said, as sci.fi us he sat down at his table In the hotel dining-room, that it would be necessary nec-essary for nlm to do something to divert his wife's suspicion, and Jie seized on the appearance of another and equally as distinguished dis-tinguished Southern statesman, who had 1k on with him all the afternoon, as a topic of cm .-creation. "Isn't It a shame," he said, as thp other statesman niado his v.-ay 10 ms seat at tne next table, "isn't It a shame that the Judge drinks? 1 am very sorry to sec It. It pains me much." His remarks attracted attention and his wife, knowing she must Bav something, leaned over and remarked: "Is it possible that the Judge has been drinking?" "My dear," said ;he statesman, summoning ail his will power and drawing himself up In hi? chair, "la It possible that you cannot tell when a man has been drinking?" Were Not Aliens. Senator Spooner was dramatically declaiming de-claiming against the admission of" New Mexico as a Stato In the exciting debate in the Senate. He talked much about the alien character of the citizens of that Territory. "Here." he exclaimed, holding up a paper. "Is the list of their council. It sounds like the muster of a Spanish military company." "Read some of tho nomes." said Senator Cullom. Senator Spooner tossed tho paper aside with a f!ne gesture of disdain. "The Senator from Illinois asks me to read some of the names." he said. "I do not speak Spanish Span-ish and therefore I must decline." Senator Foraker. in advocate of the admission of New Mexico, picked up tho paper. "I can read them." he said, "even If tho Senator Hm W isconsin can r.ct." Then ho read: "Thomas Smith, William Johnson, James G. Robinson. Charles K. Clark and' William Wil-liam McG nnls " Tesoiis Up in Anns. Tho Texas delegation In Congress has rareu up on Its hind legs" and is making trouble about the statues of tho two foremost fore-most sons of tho Lone Star State. Austin and Houston, that havo Just been added to the collection In Statuary hall. The statues are In marble, beautifully done but the Texans claims that they aro too small. Thoy are. in fact, much smaller than, the heroic figures that stand around them. They sny Sam noustori Is portrayed. por-trayed. In Indlao, garb, . and assert that this la wrong; but most of nil Is the outcry against tho spelling of Austin's name. The artist has put It "Steven" Austin, when the indignant Texana say: "Every, schoolboy knows that Austin's name was 'Stephen.' " Equal to Emergency. "Big John" Is one of the celebrated features fea-tures of Harccy'a restaurant. Ho hni been a waiter there for years and knows all tho leading men In the" Country. Yesterday Yes-terday a man came In and sat at one of John's tables. "Look here, hoy.'" ho said "1 want an oyster stew." "Yes. air," said John. "What kind?" The man then looked nt tho blll6f" fnre:"Oh,"' ho said, "I. dqn't want-to pay more-thun a -Quarter' for It, but plcnEC bo careful to s"ee that the milk Is perfectly sweet, arid not skimmed, arid that the bulte you put In It Is of the host creamery brand. Observe Ob-serve also that I want tho oystors boiled without the liquor. When they are readv pour In the llqtior and bo mire, that "l have the finest brand. Do not put In those common oyatero. Also add a small glass of fine sherry. Do you understand?" under-stand?" "Yes. sir." said John. "I think I understand.- but Ao you want tho oys-tors oys-tors with or without?" "With or without with-out what? ' asked tbc nru tlolar stranger 'Pearls, sir," said John. |