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Show F the weather 1 fine a great crowd Is expected at the oponlng of Saltalr today. to-day. The ball this evening has bwn extensively planned. The water in the lake Is too cool for all but the most vigorous, vig-orous, but the number of bathers is increasing in-creasing almost dally. 9 . Workmen who aro stringing tho wires for the new telcphono company urako it a practice of dropping plccon of wlro ten to fifteen inches In length to the streets, and several horses have been badly Injured by them. Ono of these days, a horse wlll bo tripped on one of these wires and tho City will have another expensive damage suit on its hands. a a a GOOD OLD TIMES. Tho davs aro" coming on full soon When daring graduates will riso And soar above the silvery moon, Up yonder in. tho starry skies. Oh. would that I once more could mako My sanguine graduation bow. And for my essay bravely take A thene that would appall mo now! Brooklyn Eagle. e a It was on an East South Temple car and the conductor was grouchy with all of hLs passengers who addressed him, A voting woman whose noso turned up to a" greater degree than did the conductor's con-ductor's arose, as the- car dashod over tho crossing and chocked In tho muddiest part of the street. "I've a notion to report you!" "What for?" "Just because you aro not fit to bo a conductor on a freight train, to say nothing noth-ing of a fcspcctablo car lino." "I'd llko to know how you figuro that out." 'Because you did not let me off at Third East, where Jt was not so muddy." "Well. I did call out Third East, didn't I?" "Mavbe you did, but I couldn't under stand you. "Don't you understand English?" "Yes, I do, but you do not speak It." When thu young tartar got ofT, the conductor, con-ductor, who is probably not long in this country, asked me what 1 thought the young woman meant. Not desiring lo call - attention to his shortcomings, I told him ho could scorch me. Then ho did look nucor. a NclLa A. Allen was engaged to bo married. mar-ried. She was with her huaband-to-bc ono evening, and for the first time in her life she discovered that her name road tho same way backward aa forward. The find tickled her. It plcnBed her so much that it was with difficulty that the young man prevented hor from breaking her engagement. en-gagement. a "What is the dlffcrcnco between 'flats' .and "apartmonts'?" Generally from forty to 3eventy-fivo dollars. . , 1 If you sustain a distinct shock to your nervous system after you havo kissed a pretty girl, you have neuropath. Neuropath Neuro-path Is the dlseaso resulting from the germs transmitted from tho lips in kissing. kiss-ing. a It will not bo long until venders of campaign cam-paign badges and pins will be crying their wares. What a funereal feeling ono will havo If William - Randolph Hearst and John Temple Graves succeed in landing the Democratic nominations! What a funny feeling If the other candidates candi-dates aro Roosevelt and Root! t An exchango, noting the tight box In which the Russians aro getting In Manchuria, Man-churia, ask-. "How aro tho Russians going go-ing to live through It?" The Japanese are settling that quostlon at tho rate of a thousand or so a day. There wl'.l be no famino. Tho exchango should not bother about that. a A NOCTURNAL SHOT. He threw his small clock at a cat He missed her, you can bet; The clock It stopped at half-past three, The cat is going yet. .Yonkcrs Statosmau. - Mayor Morris Is reported to bo displeased dis-pleased that the facts have leaked out that the city is permitting gambling to. Hmivish n it needed revenue measure. Tho Mayor is not tho only Salt Lakor that Is ashamed of this state of affairs. a i Nearly a year ago a gentleman was bathing at Saltalr and a valuable" ring slipped from his finger. At least, bo was quite certain when he went to tho dressing-room, and missed the ring, that ho had worn It from the hotel that afternoon. But it then occurred to him that ho might have left.it in the city, and ho caught the first train and was soon rummaging rum-maging through his pockets and about his grip at the hotel. The ring could not bo oumi Several montlis afterward ho returned to the city and went again to the beach. He looked out Into the lako and was certain cer-tain th-.ir'hc could zo to the very apot where he must have lost the ring. He had no Idea he would find it. but ho donned a suit and was soon digging around In tho sand. Soon his toe felt something smooth and round, and closing his eyes he reached down for his lost treasure But it was only the head of a beer bottle. |
