Show WIT AND HUMOR Washington Star Charley said young Mrs Torklns I hope you will never again reprove me for being slow about getting ready to go with you to the theatre Im not so bad as some people What do you mean I heard you say last night that It took a gentleman named Jorbett two or three years to get In a pair of gloves Cincinnati Enquirer The laboring man does not seem to know his place at all said the effete person from across L the sea He dont eh said the American Jzt farmer Jest you sit around till dinners on the table Chicago Record What character do you take in the art carnival parade Well my leg has been pulled so often I think Ill go as the Torso Brooklyn Life The New Necessity The GovernessI know French and German Ger-man Mrs UptodateThat is not sufficient I want someone who can teach my children Scotch Puck An Aid to Memory The Schoolgirl School-girl Werent there nine Muses I keep forgetting Her Brother Nines right Cant you think of a ball gamenine on each side and nine Innings TitBits Moses JuniorFader ant a-nt In do shop vants to know If ntlT oln rnkglhrr owvM dat allvool n rnkglt shirt vill shrink Moses SeniorDoes It fid him Moses JuniorNo Id is too big Moses SeniorYah Id vill shrink Philadelphia Leader Her Plan He Do you believe In long engagements She Well it all depends HeI dont understand She If he has plenty of money and is inclined to be liberal a long engagement Is the thing but If he cannot afford boxes at the opera and such things I always al-ways make his regime very short TitBits An old Scottish woman had gone on a visit to her soldier son at a garrison town where an evening gun was fired When the gun boomed forth the hour she was very much startled Whatna noise Is that she asked in alarm Oh thats sunset answered the son Losh keep us she exclaimed I dldna ken the sun gaed down wi a dunt like that Chicago Tribune I have been much Interested in your reminiscences remarked re-marked the passenger In the long gray overcoat as the train drew near the end of the Journey You have been an actor 30 years I think you said Yes replied the elderly passenger with whom he had been conversing Excuse me for asung but can you recall how many times ruffians and thoughtless boys have thrown eggs at youI have never had an egg thrown at me In my life Never Absolutely never The passenger in the long gray overcoat over-coat said nothing further but after he got home he discontinued his subscription I for five comic weekly papers |