| Show I The Penalty of Being a Star I Elsie Ferguson our Elsie thus de describes describes I scribes the penalties Imposed on her since her elevation to the rank of I stars She has had eighteen different plays to consider from ambitious dra dramatists some bad and others indifferent indifferent indifferent ferent Let her tell the story I had time to read them all and I 1 dont propose to to do so At Ata a glance one can tell If the pieces axe alb worth reading Sometimes they are worth more than the time consumed In perusing them for the plots intended to be serious and dramatic are so funny that they make me rae laugh so heartily heartH that I have to stop reading for fear of hurting myself Just then the letter carrier blew his whistle and a boy bo brought in several letters all but one being bulky MSS lISs Oh here are arc some more InOre plays Miss Ferguson exclaimed I wonder when this will ever end It is getting to be tiresome except perhaps to toUncle toUncle toUncle Uncle Sam who makes money mont on the postage stamps stam s that are used In send sending sendIng sending ing the plays forth and back all going back The plot of one of the plays is per perfectly perfectly perfectly silly said the latest star of the Great White Way and its side streets Its about a hero who a human being but a ghost The supernatural nural being used to be an inhabitant of this mundane sphere and was a Knight Templar in the crusade of Dick the Lion Hearted But the ghost docs does not like the missionary having a soul mate In the person of Letitia Allen She Is a ro romantic romantic mantic mantle giddy young girl whose soul delights in the he sublimity of Sheeley and Byrons Brons poetry but whose nimble fingers for tor reasons unnecessary to ex explain explain explain plain tap the tho keys of at a typewriter Ir Ira Ira ira a lawyers office to the tune of 5 a week I The TIle villain of the play Is an Inventor I tor tar and seeks to gain the fair fall Letitia I to which end he boosts the hero in inthe Inthe inthe the eyes of the missionary But the hero ghost does doe not like the rescuer of purgatorial souls so there is no possibility of ot a compromise between them The villain finds this out and Invents an electrical device out of a afoot afoot afoot foot of f copper wire and ana a ton of In Insane Insane insane sane Ingenuity which will kill the ghost when he ho comes on the scene This actually happens to the nero nerone nerona ne nedies dies and the villain wins the fair Le Letitia Letitia titia while the missionary marries a cannibal Another play submitted to me has the pathetic title Broken Hearts The tale is about a beautiful young girl whose parents die simultaneously when she Is 10 years old ohI At that age she receives several proposals of at mar marriage marriage marriage but rejects them also a few hundred more that come her way while she journeys through life eight years more Then a newspaper man old and decrepit who was sent to inter interview Int interview r view her for a Sunday story wins her heart He has Just jut three cute gray hairs atop of his head and these take the fancy of the young girl Will tWill you let me be an old mans darling she asks He says Yes ryes but first give me that interview and the curtain drops As an added note the author is isa ISa isa a woman suggests business for tor the en encores encores encores cores The author says they shall number ten At the ninth encore a adol adoU doU dol representing a baby is to be thrown from the wings to the old man and at the te th encore the heroine is discovered reading a story in the Sun Sunday Sunday Sunday day magazine of a newspaper entitled A Young Girls Suitors or No More Broken Hearts There are other plays that have been submitted to me but these two make the time nearest approach to insanity I get plays with each mall but I 1 sup suppose suppose suppose pose that Is the penalty for being a astar astar astar star |
