Show F- F I THE CONQUESTS ESTS M I It t i I I t D OF CONS CONSTANCE TA NCE I Switchboard Operator at tho the Hotel I Rich t I BY AL ALMA IA WOODWARD AnD Copyright 1912 III by r the Press Publishing Co the New derv ew York Tork World THE HABERDASHER I ec y au ever bin In Brooklyn Constance Con Can I stance demanded with all tho the savageness of 01 the prosecuting cross Lots Loti of oC times limes I r conC confessed cheer cheor- full fully Always on the way to Coney Island A A w she was u disgusted ted at mI mv my I levity that aint what I mean i mean IN IX sos so's It sos so's you OU gotta sotta get set off ott tho the car Not that I r can Cnn remember Then you OU tint aint f never bin bin you'd you'd a J I remembered Iti 11 I r Invited tn to a dance danco Ina In a private hall over there las las' night by one uv the ladles' ladles maids up In the lounge room room- She he lives over there She vh said T. T i If d only bo be har hard l over I cause I Id I'd d be alone but she sho said therod bo be slews clews of oC fellers tellers to take e me home An An that led me on She said Bald to get set off at ins Ne street an an I r did Thero There a couple uv U pills stan ln at the tho top uv u tho tiro stops steps an nn I r stepped up an an asked em cm where this joint Do yuh uh know lenow thorn them mutts never ne even took their cigarettes out oat U uv their faces aces when the they me rue I went the wa way the they pointed an turned tho the corner like they saI said Hub Ruby Red ned I Jail hall tho name Well when I Inn landed I In tho the blackest deadest street I ever o seen scon Why h you OU could a heard your own shadow yuh uh Now I lene knew that a place with Ith a like Rub Ruby Be Red lied aint to hang out In n a graveyard g like that taint so I beat It back to the g-a g gay White Way a with the tho trolley on It H an nn I seen a cop I asked him an nn ho he said Oh youre way out uv U your way way way- 1 you should a got out at Hot Hoyt Yu Yuh 1 better jump on this car cm an ride back bacle again That another nickel you ou know But I did dIll It It an say that burg burS Is tho the blame est place When hen yuh uh pa pay your fare the conductor asks yuh uh how yuh uh like the tho weather If Ie youre you're a n stranger cr an au If IC a R f rt customer customer cus cus- tomer ho tells yuh uh how how man many teeth thu bab baby cut over night I hI guess theres there's some good left In ol olow old Now ow York then Dont mention It she pleaded Its ts aces aces that's that's all nil I guess maybe I foolish to throw down that haberdasher haberdash haberdash- e er 1 Was h he the tile next She nodded slow slowly nn and 1 pointed to the links In hor her tailored shirt lie He give she mo me then s she he said an I lot him fade causo ho was UZ too ambitious ambitious ambitious ambi ambi- about business I tho the boob Well yuh uh know lenon It used to hu- hu mo me awful I pot got ot tender tonder ton ton- der del yuh uh know tin un an If It I think any ono one Is s about me or laughIn laugh laugh- In atme at me I feel Ceol Jus' Jus like lIlee ono on their that'd send sOld cm em em b-b b by-by by right off that's off that's how tender m my s Is ls An this guy U hed he'd always be doln doin things to make people talk talle about us Yuh see Reo ho l kep a haberdashers haberdasher's store Ho lie called It the tho Glad Hagger Thought it sounded swell tin nn an original An ho alwn always s 's new now things things things-things things crazy as the dickens Jua jUtt to mako maleo tho the willing little volunteers volun volun- volunteers part with their advance Balar salary An tho the wa way ho he dl did It what I ob objected oh- oh to IIo Hod d Invert Invent a n. now kind uv fancy vest est with three buttons on ono one side on on a velvet edge edgo an an two buttons on tho other with n a silk sUk cord an anthen anthen then hed he'd sot in tho the subway an an open his coat wide oven ovon though it wu out sos so's tl lamp It He lie said that'd that'd make mako o tho the othor other men fall tall for eor It I Why hv once when whon he got out a new kind kind uv uv mens men's gut garters ho lie give Sho ft n. I car I I show alien In tho the Sixth car thought hed he'd bo be copped suro sure All tho time It business uv U oo course But go gosh h It U fierce 1 swats I for far forme terme me yuh know The ha las has straw t our when when ho he got the tho Idea Iden for tor forthan a man than gas as to have havo hl his address embroidered g on hit his handkerchief Ho lie said Bald It'd bo e Ir creat seat a. a omen oom ln n stuff cause It'd Ud be so 80 handy with sick nick friends fends s home from sitting sitting- up un an things s an an people moved BO eo 0 often ten e n they'd li he d have havo to bu buy buy- buy buyten ten Um times 9 as many ta handkerchiefs BB as they usually dl did So Soh Soo tot for himself an he be mil mad me e eget at ono one h he o got gl Broadway local at Times rImes in n a get with him an an rl ride e up a 0 got square stAtion hod hed an nn nt at each in n the last car nr he got ot a ahead h ca an t jus when whon car car- cara go 0 ono hod hed this In the tho middle uv 1 the CAr drop auP rag an some somo ono ono d P pick Ick It UP an sa say 1 Is III this yours ours j supercilious It It tt real An hod hed sa say my address on It T Then ln the tho guy guyd d has my y f When n n his mouth a am mile sn an an gape open N sixth Ninety oty street treet we wo qU t to sot cot streeta wo we sO In th the first car oar But that wua a m my last too dangerous da S Say ay It UZ x might invent I didn't r It know OW what he |