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Show 'the world and doj-arAng from it. t?ll a certain number of ntorles In limitation limita-tion of the principle, the best or which concerns Tom Robertson and Artynua Ward. The plnywrlght was ontreavorlng io persuade tho dying humorist to take bis medicine, and assuring as-suring hlni meantime that he would do anything fv him. "Would you really, Tom?" said Ward ' I. would," wns the reply. ' Then take tho BtufT yourself, dear fellow,' said Ward Collier's. I Why He Deceived. ' ''ffow far is It to C.loompv'.lle?" wo ask of tho native .who Is leaning oter the pate. "Ton mllo straight ahead." he answered. an-swered. 1 .' "But we met a man a little way back, and he said It was only two miles " "Short, fat man, driving a flea-bitten sorrel hoss?" "That's the man.' "Did you meet him or pass him?" 1 "We passed him." "Thought so. Hc'a drlvln a balker I traded him, and he didn't want his hoss to know how much further he bad to go." Chicago Evening Post. A Lively Campaign. In a small New Jersey town the local political campaign was being fought to a bitter end, and both factions fac-tions claimed the election as their own. One of the political leaders niet a prominent merchant of the town, and they began to discuss tho situation. situa-tion. "How lg the campaign coming along down in your ward?" asked tho, merchant. "Very exciting," said tho politician, ' next week we arc going to have a Joint debate in tho Town Hall between be-tween a phonograph and a grapho-phone." grapho-phone." Lippincott's. Expecting Too Much. It was a cold, raw day, but the Neversweats and the Fearnoughts ( were playing a game of ball on the prairie, Just the Bame. j The pitcher for the Neversweats, his fingers half frozen, failed dismally in getting the balls over the plate. "Aw," said the captain, 'I fought yo wa9 one o' dese cold weather j pitchers!" . "I am," eald the slab artist, blowing blow-ing on his benumbed dlqlts to warm' them; "but I aln; a ice pitcher, blame ye!' -Chicago Tribune. Curiosity Part'ally Gratified. "Uncle," said the traveler who had stopped at the farmhouse to water his horse, "my wife out there in the buggy wants to know what that curious curi-ous looking structure Is." "That's a silo," answered the farmer. farm-er. "I keep ensilage In it." "He says,' reported the traveler to his wife a few moments later, "it's an asylum and he keeps a fellow nam- j ed N. C. Lape in it. I think he's lying, ly-ing, but I hope you're satisfied."-Chicago satisfied."-Chicago Tribune. The Contest. "All men," saJd tho earnest citizen, "are born equal." "They are that.' replied Mr. Raf-ferty. Raf-ferty. "But they don't stay equal after they're big enough to get together to-gether in thy school yard." Washington Wash-ington Star. In Some Instances.- Little Bobby What are "sins of omission." J Uncle Bob Those we have forgot-; ten to commit, but which we promptly attend to as soon as we are reminded of the oversight Life. ' His View. j "This little girl won't have a doll. J Wants a toy dog." "Ixoks like the true society moth-; pr Instinct," suggested the other a mere man, of course Kansas City Journal. Half-Pints. Sing a song of sixpence Pocket full of rye That's the way to carry It Where tho town Is dry. Philadelphia Telegraph. JUST FOR FUN i Dying Wit. A British newspaper, tho Clapha-n Observer, commenting on our state-I state-I ment that humor had no part !n the j two great mortal acts of coming Into I |