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Show Dear JOHN: Presented as a Community Service Ser-vice from lntcrmounLaln Health Care. John Waterbury is Director Direc-tor of Community Services with " lnter-mountain Health Care. Letters Let-ters and responses to the Dear John Column may be sent to him at: IHCH, 21st floor, 36 S. Stale, Salt Lake City, Utah, Will. t By John Waterbury Dear John, It seems everyone is talking about change and growth and a bunch of things like that. Well for me, I think all this talk is a waste of time and effort. At least for me. I don't want to change. I'm not happy all the time, but then again, 1 don't think anyone really is. I like my world just as it is. So there! Put that in your therapeutic pipe. I'm Against It Dear Against It, I'm for it, but let me clarify what I mean when I say that. Too many people cut themselves short by not reaching out. Because of fear, or uncertainty, or their unwillingness to take a risk, they desperately try to hold on to their view of reality. For those people, their inability to change causes their downfall. They never reach the heights that they were meant to. They never get J even a small view of what their ultimate potential really is. They stagnate. Since nothing stays the same in this world, when they refuse to change, they begin to die. That sounds a little dramatic, drama-tic, but it's fairly accurate. Now, to use a phrase from an old movie, what we have here is a failure to communicate. My previous messages were not meant in any way to state that it is mandatory for everyone to be in a constant state of change. That would result not in growth, but confusion. Instead, my philosophy is based on the premise that if and when a situation arises that requires a change, it is important that we do not fail to put ourselves into action simply because of our need to maintain some measure of stability. On the other hand, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's a simple philosophy, but it's effective. And by the way, I don't smoke; not even a therapeutic pipe. Dear John, I've raised my kids to be forthright. When they meet a new kid in the neighborhood, they're likely to say "Who are you and where do you live" in one sentence, and in the next, "Is that a wart or a bugger?" The problem is that I may have gone a little too far in teaching them to speak their mind. Some people get really upset. What do I do now? Unexpected Ignominy Dear UI, It sounds like you've been very effective in teaching the little "buggers" the first half of successful communication skills. They don't seem to be inhibited in the least. Next teach them three things: respect for other people, sensitivity to their feelings, feel-ings, and responsibility for their own actions. Or, you could wait until one of their friends punches their lights out. Either technique techni-que is an effective learning experience! , Dear John, I've just turned 16 and I don't have any of the answers to life that I always thought I'd have by now. I've tried drinking and mind expanding drugs, but so far I haven't found any startling revelations that have helped to make sense out of things. I feel like I've missed something. Where's all the insight and wisdom that I'm supposed to have? Not With It Completely Dear Not With It, First of all, who said you should have all the answers by the age of 16? They were wrong. Fortunately, you don't need all the answers right now... just some of them. To find what you're looking for, get involved with others, not with drugs. Focus on others, not yourself. Cause positive things to happen, don't wait for them. And you'll be surprised. ..when you do these things, you'll find all the insight and wisdom you're looking for. |