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Show LITTLE ri wrong ln ZSSP been tried ce itl , l theeffectd- sty T1 conciUt.tor m " the corct n, ?e yell' "d J, : Just as We got , ,"S,., raw recruit) Cot'M;, "Jack Newly Quite a lot of col seeii . ' "Don't e t Z""-'" she i -London Ti.S J Grandpa's Static Grandpa was having his after-dood after-dood sleep In the armchair and emitting emit-ting sounds that might easily have come from a cross-cut saw. As father fa-ther entered the room be saw little Jackie twisting one of grandpa's waistcoat buttons. "What are you doing?" he whispered, whis-pered, "you mustn't disturb grandpa." "I'm not, daddy," said Jackie, "I was Just trying to tune him in on something different." Exception A little boy came home from school rery much annoyed with his teacher. Little Boy I hate her I His Mother Oh, you mustn't say that. The Bible tells us to love everybody. Little Boy I know, but she wasn't alive when the Bible was written. Chelsea Record. Not to Be Used Little Jane had been asked to show the week-end guest to her room. Pausing on the way, she pointed out the bathroom, and touching one of the pretty embroidered towels, said : "Of course you know that these are not to be used." Indianapolis News. JUSTIFIED "Where Is Jones?" ' It "Cruising around 80o business section." " ", ( "I'd like to see bin, il( 'I qualnted with any of his-l ! tlons?" : Excuse me. sir, but har 0 ished your soup?" 1 ()r "Yes. Why do m fc "Now we can begin ne era Olten Woche Im Bill .-tie A Problem '.n "So you like your tn, equally?' "Yes. dad 1 simply i,r: t which to marry first"-vt- zettino Illustrate. ' ch Followed Imlructiu, tS "Did you do as I told and ask whether the chji, ':fi' young or old before you k; 101 "Yes, ma'am; It Is olt ;i : Opinion. :U ritii. Rare Meal '" Landlady Do yon like ti 5t"' this rare, Miss Phim? Boarder Since you ask n too rare I would like It 3 a oftener. .Mi Singing Wife (at bathroom door)-on door)-on the table, John. Hurry i; '' your bath. tla Husband Coming, dear! stanza and I'm through. sas .t mil UNIQUE 1 1 :,1 "Why did they expel Mr. Crow from the Country club?" "Oh, for caws." Misunderstanding "Were you never tempted to become be-come a linquist?" "What's the use?" rejoined Senator Sorghum. "Even the people wbo speak the same language are no longer able to come to an understanding." under-standing." Washington Star. Determined "It Is not the time to ask me for a job. My goods are being seized tomorrow." 'Do you know If they want anybody any-body to help seize them?" Lausanne LTllustre. New Models Dick's father is an automobile salesman. sales-man. Recently his sister came home displaying pennies she had earned. The lad looked them over and said: "I'd sure like to have them, they are the new models." No Tips Old Gentleman There's been no change here for ages has there? Waiter Not under the plates. London Humorist No Duck! "Mamma, there's a man here at the door to see you." "Does he have a bill?" "No, mamma. Just a plain nose!" HIS ERROR "They say opportunity b : tl once." ' "Yes, It's the only toi ;i stops there." 3i 3 Saving Dad TronUi ;i, Irate Parent-Wben It: j: cub who's paying you aW'i :ti again I'll sit on him. 'id Daughter Oh. let m t ther. -a, Rare Sigtt -'it Blinks The papers say !0, a lot of counterfeit tmntj' .i, in circulation. :S Jinks-Huhl There an i -i, genuine ones In circulation. f ty-dollar bill I got would ft--'- It was counterfeit. '- His Humble 0pi' .S Motorist (Inquiring Mi ie; Bov, am 1 all right for su Bright Lad-As farw' s are. Mister, but f'r" 'ki zoo.-MontrealJiazett s; Social Qut' w '3 Mrs. Newrich-ffha' Mr. Newrlch-Just a squirrel. , i,-) V "Should I notice in ' Bits. ,. Weekly Rei'L ;1 Frlond-Tou 'i" t! ; and be hnpp.v agm , , Jilted Suitor OH, I rve bought too nuic W lnstnllme.it system! J swers. ? "Jones Is a self-umde man." "I know. He surely made a mistake mis-take In not consulting an expert." Forbidden "My wife has been forbidden to cook." "Is she III?" "No. I am." Madrid Buen Humor. A Little Premature First Little Girl What's your last name, Marie? Second Little Girl I don't know yet; I ain't married! |