OCR Text |
Show Ten O'Cloclc Whistle by David Flelsher You just won't listen, will you? If you remember, I recommended Park City build a huge indoor garage, heated, so that all residents will have a place to store their cars during the winter. You would never have any problems starting the car in the morning because you wouldn't be using your car in the morning, or any other time during the winter. With the communal indoor garage, you could kiss your car goodbye for the winter. What happened last week? The temperature dropped to a thousand degrees below zero, and everybody had trouble starting their cars. That's right. We had to drive our cars into service stations and buy gas line anti-freeze, charge up our batteries, buy lighter weight oil, and do all sorts of ridiculous things to the car. It was absolutely miserable. I can't stand people who say things like, "I told you so." But, "I told you so." We need that damn garage. I spent over two hours last Friday trying to help a friend start his car. We had the jumper cables connected; we read the manual to make sure everything was properly connected, and still the car wouldn't start. I finally got in my car and pushed him all the way down Park Avenue to the service station. "Why are we doing this!" I screamed as we hobbled into the station. When I tried to start my car last week, it laughed at me. "The very idea of you even TRYING to start me in this sub-zero weather," the car was probably thinking. It was so cold, I thought I could warm up by stepping into my refrigerator. You don't like the communal garage idea? Okay, I've got another idea. Take a match to your car and blow it up. When spring arrives, buy a new one off the insurance payments. If the insurance agent asks what happened to you car, say you had to get rid of it because of "undue stress." Now, in conjunction with the hideous weather problems, beginning Dec. 20, the city has ordered that we can park our cars only on one side of Main Street. This means parking will be cut in half and that we will have to find other places to park. But see, I keep getting back to this: I don't want to find another place to park because I don't want to park anywhere to begin with. Why should we have to park a car that is going to eventually need the battery re-charged, lighter oil, and end up with a frozen radiator? It's masochistic. "But what will I do without my car!" you might scream in desperation. You won't drive. And that's the whole idea. Take the bus. Park City has buses and they can take you wherever you want to go. And if the bus needs gas line anti-freeze, fine, let the bus driver worry about it. That's what he's getting paid for. I think the bottom line regarding cars in winter is this: Do You want to become hysterical? If not, you have two logical choices: either you can -put pressure on your elected officials to build an indoor communal car garage, or you can go buy a box of matches and smoke your car away. And that, as they say, is the name of that tune. As I shiver up Main Street, I hear the Ten O'Clock Whistle. |