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Show a part of history was news to him, T tho traveler asked why he did not take some weekly or monthly periodical, periodi-cal, that be might keep In touch with tho world nt large. "Wall," said tho old native, "when toy pa died, nine years ago, he left Die a atack of newspapers that high" Indicating a height of about three foet "and I ain't dono readln' of 'cm yet" Brooklyn Llfs Abuse of Hospitality. Charles M. Schwab, at hla dinners iu hi splendid white mansion on Riverside drive, tells a number of stories about thrift. "Excellent as thrift Is." Schwab will sometimes Bay, "It may yet bo carried too far. "Jones, for example, on a hot afternoon after-noon entered a PlttBburg saloon to pet a glass of cold lager. Perceiving Smith at tho bar ho a,ld generously: generous-ly: " 'Hello,. Smith! Will you have a beer?' "Thi; thrifty Smith, aa he pushed away his empty glass, answered: "'No thanks, Jones; I don't care for another beer; but you can pay for this one I've Just finished if you like." "Detroit Free Press. Killing the Goose Again. The old family physician being away on h much-needed vacation, his practice was Intrusted to his son, a nceut medical graduate. When tho old man returned the youngster told him, among other things, that ho had cured Miss Forguson, an aged and wealthy spinster, of her chronic indigestion. indi-gestion. "My boy," Bald tho old doctor, "I'm proud of you; but Miss Fergusons Indigestion 1? what put you through college." Everybody's. Keeping Undar Cover. "Ornndpa," said little Rastua, as ho turned the pages of the dream book, "why am It when witches fly around on broomsticks dey am always al-ways old wlmmln? Where be deh husbands?" 'Lands, chile," laughed the old man, 39 he cut a fresh watermelon, "yo' wouldn't expect deh husbands around whpn dey am armed with broomsticks, would yo'?" Chicago Nowa. In Court. "Your honor. If you'll let mo off, I'll take the pledge." "For how long?" "Well, I usually take It for life." Cleveland Leader. JUST FOR FUN j Not Caught Up. A man who was traveling lntheOz-Pik lntheOz-Pik mountains on horseback stopped tvfore a typical Arkansas farnihouno to Inquire tho (way. "What's th; ji9wb?" asked tho inountalueer, as ho loaned his lank frame against tho fence uud pulled bin long beard thoughtfully. On finding that what had bocomo |