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Show ' to bavo a picnic tomorrow and I1 ain't Invited" Cleveland Leader. Too Inquisitive. "I think that Lawyer Prlofly is tbe meanest man ou earth." declared Miss Passe. 'The other day, when I testified In that dlvorco suit, he ask-c-d ine what year I wag born. In, and when I told hlin '73. ho asked if I meant B. C. or A. D." Widow. Why He Dissented. "All my people," said the deliberate deliber-ate speaking man, who always looks down when be talks, "were Unlversol-Ists. Unlversol-Ists. but I dissented." "Why not?" asks the Human Interrogation Inter-rogation Point. "Because I didn't want to believe that those of us who had good sense would have to spend eternity in a heaven containing the fool who rocked rock-ed the boat" Baltimore Sun. Papa's Opinion. He You know that It Isn't your money I want to marry you lor, don't you, dear? She Yes, that's what I told papa. He And what did ho say? She He said if that was true you didn't have as much sense as he thought you bad. Chicago News. Resist Evil. If a bribe Is offered you. Promptly spurn it; If you write a thing untrue. Better burn it; If you ever go amiss And in stealing seek for bliss, Should you merely steal a kiss. Best return It. Judge. Why He Declined. The Boss Jimmy, wouldn't you Hko to get off this afternoon and take in the ball game? Ofrico Boy No. sir. The Bosb (in surprise) "Why not? Office Boy 'Cause there ain't no game this afternoon. Chicago News. His Occupation. "So you are writing stories," said the friend. "Not exactly," answered the cynical cynic-al litterateur; "I am merely furnishing a certain amount of text to keep the illustrations from running Into one another." Washington Star. JUST FOR FUN To Take No Chances. Hamlar Why in tbe dickens have you got that string tied around your tooth? Absocte To remind mo that I must have the tooth removed. Hamlar But, goodness gracious! Why dou't you do as ordinary people, peo-ple, and havo the siring tied around your finger? Absente (stiffly) Because, sir, I dou't care to have my finger removed. remov-ed. Exchange. A Speaking Likeness. ' Coroner You know the deceased partly protty well. I believe, and could identify him? Witness Yes, I should know Mm again. (A photograph of the deceas-I deceas-I ed was then handed to the witness.) Coroner Do you recognize that? Witness (shaking his head) No. I dunno who that is. Coroner You said you would know him ngaln if you saw him. Witness So I should, sir. Put I don't think I could tell is picture. Coroner What was there about the deceased that you kould know and recognize again? Witness (brightening up) His stutter, air. 'E stuttered awful. Judy. Made a Difference. "Mamma, when 1 say my prayers tonight, to-night, may I pray for rain?" "Of course, dear. But don't you think we've had enough rain?" "Not quite, Jennie Jones Is going |