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Show -E R I S C O P I Ny- Mthe WORLD f T X with Our Office Boy. j UNCLE MOE ON FRIENDS. j Uncle Moe H He bob, sez he, Speakin' o' friends V An' advisin me, H A dog, m' lad's, Th' best I know. Y" kin figger on him SVhere e'er y' go. y kin lose yore money I; ! " n" sell" respect. But thet won't main r T' him a speck. An" when yer blue' B ll An lackin' 'sand,' Hi I Talk to him U- II understand. Hi An' ef ycr ever It'll ,j Down an' out, V k j He'll give ' BUtbin' T think about, j 1 1 An' w hen yer sick I' An" lid die ef y could, I llis lickin' tongue'll ' Feel mighty good. Stan's feelin' changes For a friend But a dog'll j Love ye V ih' end The only critter ye know that treats , everyone exactly alike is the fly. DHJIi A Columbia professor Bays thai hap i p.ness in married life Is a Becondarj I'll affair. We'd hate to board in his Sil We are of the opinion that Auieri- Hjlt cans would take more kindly lo the I I cratting of camel's glands since Ihc It ) passage of the dry' enforcement act. i In an effort to console the Chinese III for the loss of Shantung, Mexico has forbidden them to emigrate to that Paris gowns weren't built for coal Had he whiskers, we would be Inclined In-clined to agree that ihe fossilized man. recently found in Mexico, was Carran- Pan-American delegates always pan j America. Restaurants displaying the sign "La dies Served" have 'em rich, rare and DDj ! i It would be well to draw a contract V I between Capital and Labor with public 11 J sympathy the loi'teji nr- lau--- The best that can be s;iid for "kick fug" is ihut it is a good voice cukure. Ha A Cnjtfh Wil1 undF,r5tand :inv lan When a voter puts an X on a ballot, he is either sending a candidate a kiss J I It's no use looking for hope at the K I bottom of a glass of near beer Defeated candidates often re-mird us of a small boy taking a dose of castor When a conscientious objector complains com-plains about prison conditions he HI ought !o be told ol the conditions of the place where the boys who fought for hiin were. A German operu whoso eveiy -ong I eanie the retrain "Kamerad Kam erad" might meet the approval of a 1 lot of ex-soldiers who never got to Nowadays a man is not Judged b the color of his hair, but the amount of it. A bald headed man then would be ext remely patriotic The high cost of 'living is slurring the reputation of the dollar A remarkable argument against swinging tongues during election time la furnished, by Massachusetts, where a tiff upper lip won. Striking the word obey from Hie marriage ceremony will save the mir. isters some breath outside of thai there will be no difference. We are told that hair cuts a lot with most barbers. We are inclined to believe thai water is poison, ns the Evening News' medical writet says. At least the farmers still mix the corrective milk with it. The household help situation in the United States has forced political candidates can-didates to cut out a stock phrase public servant. It sounds entirely too bossy and autocratic. RIGHT IS HIGHT "Why did you turn out for thai truck? According to the traffic rules vou had the right of way." "Yes," answered Mr f'huggins patiently, pa-tiently, "but the truck had the right of weight." Washington Star. INJURY TO INSULT. Doss "Can't you rind something to ;lo?" Office Boy "Gee Whiz' Am I expected ex-pected to do the work and find It too?" Boston Transcript. A isitor who comes just before din-n din-n r comes after it There's no use in findinc fault with millionaires for leaving money when .die they ilidn't want to do it. WHICH REMINDS US THAT One often sees an iron sink in a shop window. |
