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Show I JUST FOR FUN Hj ' Putting It Mildly. H I "That man seems to bo proud of H his stupidity," said the impetuous Hj person H "I wouldn't put it that way," ro- H piled the conservative friend. "I'd H merely suggest that when it comes Hl to a thirst for wisdom he's a pro- H hlbitlonist." Baltimore American. H Real Kindness, H Clerk Can you lot me off tomor- H row afternoon? My wife wants me H to go shopping with her. H Employer' Certainly not. We are H much too busy. H Clerk Thank you very much, sir, H You are vory kind. London Opin- H Generous. H "So you are a bill cpllcctor," said H Mr. Plnchponny. H "Yes. Hero Is one" H "Keep it, my boy, keep It. You H , seem to havo a nice collection M there. Far be It from mo to break H it up," Philadelphia Telegram. H Lack of Enterprise j ' "Bphold tho ruins of Pompeii." H ' Beon this way oug?" M "Some eighteen hundred years." Hl ) I "Bah! We had San l-Tancisco re- Hl ' 'built in less than .six months." HJ j ' Baltimoro American. H ( Plenty of Room B . Pstunge I thought you said I'd j j find plenty of room in this flat?" Hl , , Pstlnger "I meant that you'd Hi find plenty of room for improve- H ment" Chicago News. English A German who had come to America to master our language, was being shown behind the Bcenes of a vaudeville theater by one of his American friends. "That man," said tho American, indicating an, actor with a wave of his hand, "is taking off his make-up for another take-off." The Gorman departed sputtering. SL Louis Times. Discouraging Outlook In tho Cumberland monntains of EaBt Tennessee, "Bob" Taylor says a good coon dog Is considered a valuable asset. A visitor once asked ask-ed a native, Bill Smoon, how many dogs he had. "I ain't got but five," said Bill, dejectedly. "Looks llki I novcr kin git a start on dogs ag'in. Llpplncott's. Staging a Play. "We'll havo to give her a prominent prom-inent part in the new play." "But sho can't act." "That's all right We'll fix her up with faeven gowns. That will kebp her busy in tho dressing-room dressing-room most of the timo." St. Louis Times. Too Much. Mrs. Benham There is a burglar I really believe. In tho pantry whore I put tho pie I baked this afternoon." after-noon." Benham Woll, you can't expect me to got up at this time of night to give him dyspepsia tablets. -Now York Globe. |