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Show EVIDENTLY OUT OF PLACE; Frenchman Had Some Indignant Fault to Find With Postmaster, and Said So. ARRESTING t j German Scientists Advise the Eating of Egg Sheila by Those Who Approach Old Age. A Frenchman with a name spelled a la Paris and pronounced something like had never learned to Ca-cho- o read or write, but he managed to disguise the fact pretty well until he moved to a new community where the name was not common. Going to the postofflce one morning he inquired: "Got any mail for Joe "Whata the name? Inquired the clerk. Joe "How do you spell' it? .Cant you spell Joe "No," said the clerk, "I never heard It before." Then the disgust of the Frenchman, which had been constantly rising, boiled over and he snorted: "Well, if you cant spell, why dont you sell your old postofflce to some, one that can? Ca-cho- "Ca-cho- Ca-cho- Ca-cho- , Appointed Day of judgment. A horse-deale- r in an English town had lent a horse to a solicitor, who killed the animal through bad usage. The dealer Insisted on payment, and the lawyer, refusing cash, said hq would give a bill for the amount, hut ft must be at a long date. The lawyer drew a promissory note, making it payable on the day of judgment. An action was raised, and the lawyer asked the sheriff to look at the bill. Having done so, the sheriff replied: "This is the day of judgment, I decree ou to pay tomorrow. Point for Sherlock Holmes. Somebody wondered how long a cer- tain woman who had just left the room had been married. About 15 years, said the jeweler. How do you know? asked the jewelers wife. "You never saw her until tonight" "I can tell by the size of her wedThe width of ding ring, he replied. wedding rings changes about every five years. The kind she wears was in style 15 years ago. Important to Mothers Examine caretully every bottle of CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature of In Use For Over 30 Years. Children Cry for Fletchers Castoria A Dead One. The doctor says that I will live about a year. That will be a great change for you." "What will? "Living. ' f j- Wasted Energy. Nimrod (just back from fishing) I got this string in less than ah hoar. Nimrod's Wise Wife Theres a fish tore nearer than that, John. : Precaution. Chlmmle Hey, Maggie, hold die hag o peanuts fer me fer a minute here comes a poor relation o mine! Life. Melancholy Fact Man 1b weak. That is why he invests in a cantaloup when he knows the chances are ten to one against him. Toledo Blade. FREE ADVICE TO SICK WOMEN Thousands Have Been Helped By Common Sense Suggestions. Women suffering from any form of female ills are invited to communicate promptly with the womans private correspondence department of the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass. Your letter will be opened, read and answered by a woman and held in strict confidence. A woman can freely talk of her private illness to a woman; thus has been established a confidential correspondence which has extended over many years and which has never been broken. Never have they published a testimonial or used a letter without the written consent of the writer, and never has the Company allowed these confidential letters to get out of their possession, as the hundreds of thousands of them in their files will attest. Out of the vast volume of experience which they have to draw from, it is more than possible that they possess the very knowledge needed in your case. Nothing is asked in return except your good will, and their advice has helped thousands. Surely any woman, rich or poor, should be glad to take advantage of this generous offer of assistance. Address Lydia EL Pink-ha- m Medicine Co., (confidential) Lynn, TIME OF FLIGHT 'TWENTIETHX? SAIT M.AME CTV, Two Germans, deep thinkers Professors Emmerich and Loewe state that egg shells eaten increase the power of resistance against the withering blight of time, add weight to the body, activity to the brain and strength to the heart; that they destroy injurious bacilli, prevent inflammation and disease and lend courage and energy. This reminds me, Philip Hale writes in the Boston Herald, of the preparation advertised in London thirty or more years ago as removing superfluous hair, being an excellent substitute for table butter, none genuine unless stamped on the blade. Eustace Miles, the English court tennis player and vegetarian, says he had an old nurse who used to eat egg shells and crunch them joyfully between the teetts that happened to meet, and she said .she ate the shells because they "shaved the hair off inside of the throat. The discovery of the Gorman scientist is peculiarly welcome to dwellers by the ocean, for It Is a well known fact that If you do not break egg shells the Witches will put out to sea in them to wreck vessels, and if you burn the shells the hens will cease to lay. Furthermore, as eggs are now absurdly high even case eggs in the neighborhood it seems a pity to waste any part of them. SALT LAKE THE MECCA OF THE IRRIGATORS Salt Lake City. The capital of the state of Utah, which owes more to irrigation than any other state in the Jinion, is the Mecca of thousands of visitors. The occasion is the National Irrigation Congress, the opening session of which was held Monday morning, September 30. The city Is in gala attire, was flags and bunting in profusion, while myriads of electric lights turn night into day. At 10 oclock Monday morning, in Lucile I, .the historic Tabernacle, Queen of Irrigation and Empress of the valleys, officially opened the twentieth session bf the National Irrigation Congress. The program for the official opening comprised many musical numbers by the grand orchestra, Tabernacle choif organ and the augmented Speeches were made by Senater New-land- s of Nevada, president of the congress, and by George A. Barstow of .Texasi forn president. Brief addresses were also niade by the Queen of Irrigation and George A. Snow, chairman of the Utah board or control. The queen and her maids of honor were escorted to the Tabernacle from the Commercial club by Governor William Spry and his staff, Colonel James A. Irons and staff, Mayor Samuel C. Park, the city commissioners and the board of governors and members of the Commercial club. One of the features of the congress was the parade an delectrlcal pageant at 8 oclock Monday night. One of the most original features of the parade was the formation of the Rejuvenated Sons of Jove, who marched with Jupiter on a float heading the line. Jupiter formed a connection with the trolley wire to bring down the current, which was carried through ten sets of incandescent lamps, fifty-fiv- e lamps to each set, carried on pichforks by he members of he order, who were dressed as imps. The lights of each column of the marchers were lighted alternately. As the attendance of delegates and persons of note probably exceeds that of any session of the congress held heretofore, the ceremonial and entertainment features were on a more pretentious scale than ever before attempted. The musical program includes several selections' by the augmented choir, orchestra and organ, the feature of which were the rendition o reMcClellans "Ode to Irrigation, hearsals for which have been in progress many weeks. The iNational Irrigation Congress held its first session in Salt Lake City on September 15, 1891, and the present session is something in the nature g week for many o of a the delegates. Delegations from various states and cities began to arrive late Saturday and continuing through Sunday. Each incoming train brought additional delegates and the hotels were soon filled almost to capacity. Among the larger delegations to arrive Sunday was the party from El Paso and other Texas points, which traveled in a special car. They were headed by Representative W. R. Smith, chairman of the house committee on irrigation. Senator Francis G. Newlands of Nevada, president of the irrigation congress, arrived Saturday night. Gov- - ' home-comin- War in Balkans Threatened. London. Only a tiny spark now apEvery woman ought to have pears necessary to explode the Balkan Lydia E. Pinlchams 80page powder magazine. Every element for Text Book. It Is not a book for a tremendous upheaval seems ready. general distribution, as It Is too Seven European armies are now under expensive. It Is free and only mobilization or calling in reserves. obtainable by maiL Write fox it today. Bryan Rests In Wyoming, Rawlins, Wyo. William J. Bryan arrived here early Sunday and rested nffcst of the day at the home of John TuOo4. Dm I M la Urn. Sold by Dnwriata. E. Osborne, chairman of the Democratic state central committee. The Nebraskan made no political speeches. Mass. ;G t i BABY IN MISERY ?I Got This Fine Pipe With Liggett & Myers Dukes Mixture All f;inds of men smoke Dnkes Mixture in all kinds of pipes as well as in cigarettes and they all tell the same story. They like the genuine, natural tobacco taste of ' RASH WITH Choice bright leaf aged to mellow mildness, carefully stemmed e and then granulated every grain pure, tobacco thats what you get in the Liggett Myers Duke's Mixture sack. You get one and a half ounces of this pure, mild, delightful tobacco, unsurpassed in quality, for 5c and with each sack you get a book of papers free. . high-grad- Monroe, Wls. "When my baby was lx weeks old there came a rash on if hla face which finally spread until It got nearly all over hla body. It formed a crust on his head, hair fell out and the itch was terrible. When he would scratch the crust, the water would ooze out in big drops. On face and body It was In a dry form and would scale off. He was in great misery end at nights I would lie awake holding his hands so that he could not scratch and disfigure himself. I tried simple remedies at first, then got medicine, but It did no good. "Finally a friend suggested Cuticura Remedies, so I sent for a sample to see what they would do, when to my surprise after a few applications I could see an improvement, and he would rest better. I bought a box of Cuticura Ointment and a cake of Cuticura Soap and before I had them half used my baby was cured. His head Is now covered with a luxuriant growth of hair and his complexion is admired by everybody and has no (Signed) Mrs. Annie Saunders, Sept. 29, 1911. Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold throughout the world. Sample of each Skin Book. Address free, with 32-post-car- d "Cuticura, Dept L, Boston. ernor Oddie of Nevada arrived Sunday, and Governor Hawley of Idaho and Governor Carey of Wyoming came in Monday morning. Among the officers of the congress who was not able to attend, is R. Insinger of Spokane, Wash., first vice president, who is reported to be ill. WOULD PROTECT NATIVES. Discoverer of Blonde Eskimos Protests Against Invasion of Their Country. New York. Vilhjumur Stefansson, the young explorer who discovered the blonde Eskimos, has uttered a vigorous protest against invasion of their country in the far north by white men. In his judgment the advent of civilization among them will cause the deaths of many of them and not Improbably the extermination of the entire tribe. Measles i3 the particular disease of civilization from which he would protect the newly discovered people. No distinction is made by Mr. Stefansson between whalers, fur traders, game hunters or even missionaries, so far as the health and existence of the Eskimos are concerned.' All of them, he declares, and even scientific like himself, are a investigators, menace. With the object of literally protecting the Eskimos from civilization, Mr. Stefansson stated that he will visit Ottawa in a short time to urge action by the Dominion government. Now About the Free Pipe In every sack of Liggett & Myers Dukes Mixture we now pack a coupon. You can exchange these coupons for a pipe or for many other valuable and useful articles. These presents cost not one penny. Thera is something for every member of the family-ska- tes, catchers gloves, tennis rackets, cameras, toilet articles, suitcases, canes, umbrellas, and dozens of other things. Just lend us your name and address on s postal and as a special offar during Sepwill tember and October onl-aund you oar neut illustrated catalogue of presents FREE of any charge. Open up a sack of Liggttt 4 Myers Dukes Mixture today. we from fs Mixture may he etsorttd with tart from HORSE SHOE, j.T- - Tinsleys leaf.i GRANGER TWIST, end Confout from ' FOUR ROSES (10c in double coufon ' PICK PLUG CUT, PIEDMONT OCA RETTES. CL1X CIGARETTES, end ether tags or used by u. eatural Premium Dept, St. Louis, Mo. iil Adv. Wanted a Bite. Oh, yes; it was raining had been all day. But they didnt mind that so D-h- Co-f- W.LDOUGLA8 much; you see, they were fishermen. the same, they were trudging home, with weary steps and very weary-lookln-g faces. AKD Their baskets were empty,- and, to FOR MEN AND WOMEN he candid, they were in a very bad W. L Douglas $900, 92.BO $ $3.00 tohoot Bm temper. touoo otso Stele will poeHhroly outwear two As they entered the little village a psleo of ordinary uhooo, oama uo Me msee stess. large dog ran at one of the party. The makes and rails more $3.00,13.50 A 4.00 ahoee dog had a ferocious look, and was than any other manufacturer in the world. Invented Names to Fool Directors. THE STANDARD OF QUALITY FOR OVER 30 YEARS. Palo Alto, Cal. The board of direc- ' barking furiously. But the fisherman The workmanship which has made W. L Douglas shoe famous the world. tors of the Palo Alto Mutual Building did not take much alarm at the animal. fie just kicked it away careever is maintained in every pair. & Loan soberly and officially approAsk your dealer to show you W. L Douglas latest fashions for fall and winter-r- , lessly. ved the confessed embezzlements of notice the short vamps which make the foot look smaller, points m "Aren't you afraid hell go for you?" State Senator Marshall Black, accorddeairod by young man. Also tho conservative styles which shoe particularly Inquired another of the party, somehave mad W. L. Douglas shoes a household word everywhere. ing to a report made by aif expert audi- what anxiously. If you could vizit W. L Douglas large factories at Brockton, Mass, and ne tor to that body on Sunday. Black, The one who had kicked at the dog for yourself how carefully W. L. Douglas ahoaa are made, you would then m when in need of money, the report looked at his doratand why they are warranted to fit bettor, look batter, bold their shape aad companion in a sorrowand man named a Casey says, invented wear longer than any other make for the price, ait Color Egoists. ful manner. secured an official approval of a loan CAUTION. To protect yen aealmt iaferior ahoee. W. L Dearie (temp hie bum eo the baa-to"I only wish he would! he replied. Look fer the ateem- - Beware of auhatitutea. W.L. DeueUeaheesere eeli la 7 eww-tor-e to "Casey of $50,000. He raised this Id chance almost anything to be able aad ehoe dealer every whan. No natter where you lira, they are withia yew reach. sum to $63,000. None of the direc- to go home and say I'd had a bite! abewiaa hew to prdaw (f your dealer eaaaotaupply you. write direct to factory fee retries byawiL Sheet Mat everywhere, delivery chargee prepaid. W I .Hoarier. Brnelttoo.MaMi tors could have known anything about Casey because there was no such Like Mushrooms. Thoughtful Wife. man. As they emerged from the subway "Think Ill go to the ball game toconf-ontstation they were by a day. Prefers Prison tel Life As Soldier. giant skyscraper rising into the blue. All right. Is there a telephone at San Francisco. Frank Masse, jewel What building is that? she asked, The dyspeptic, the dcbOlteted, whether the grounds? now the at county not being an habitue of the downtown thief, exceaaofwork of mind or body, drink or awaiting trial one near "Theres there. Why? jail in Redwood City, prefers the state district I don't know, he replied. I team want the home loses "If yon MALARIAL REGIONS, prison to the French army. He con- She looked at him in surprise, this to telephone me, so that I can take siders it far better to serve a long im- quarter of New York being his daily the children and go over to mothers WE find Tut PUIc tfceamet retrial r tiv aver offered the sufferiag Invalid. 1 prisonment in California than three locale. No, he insisted wearily. until you get your temper back. The dont know. It wasnt there yesteryears in the ranks as a soldier. reason became apparent when it was day." New York Press. FREE TO ALL' SUFFEREOS Groping. learned that in the event of Mafses down orgvt If to yon feci suit of is Miss Hammerah "What trying return to France he would be forced blue," Buffer from kidney, bladder nervoudiftMt-ironiAlmost Entirely. on the piano? weuknihe9. nicer, skin erbpttoDs.plts.A. play to serve three years in the army of Dick Quay, at the Congress hotel rite for my PKKK book, uislhe inoi Instmeirrw In the Shadow.' aboftl I medical book over written. It udl in Chicago, was talking about a nohis native land. and the rmarkn bleonre effected by t bellow "I thought she seemed to be hav- disease French Remedy T H E K A PIONM No. 1, No T Ho torious politician. you can decide for yourself if Itlsthe remedy for ing some difficulty in finding the right and Fish Caused Drowning of Five. cent. Its absolutely yonr ailment, lion t send And hes worth eleven millions, Dr.taClereMwct-Co.- , rKKK keys." Toronto. Five members of one fam- Mr. Quay ended. llaverUKk ltd., Hainpatemt, I in river the e drowned were And Pigeon is an entirely ily man, It Depends. Sunday, the victims being William Mc- too, I believe," said a correspondent. "Do you think a wife should go Caffrey of Toronto, sales manager of "Entirely ao, Mr. Quay answered, through her husband's pockets? Allen si lconncaatTccorethChroiilrlUera Muaw the General Electric company, his "except for nine thick coats of white"Yes if there's anything in em. t'loerSeKrrofalna tiesra.i srtcofte I'leers.lw A wash that have been applied to him dolMit UlrsntMcrfartRt Ulcers, W hlt8wIt wife, mother, and two children. Milk Leg. Fever Korea, sIIsMmpm. fty In?,. which fourteen-poun- d various by mushellunge, investigating committees. P. ALLKN, lpUAai,St.Pult-Unfitting. had been hooked by Mr. McCaffrey, Walt till I hobble horse. my A Paradoxical BalloL LADIES AND GIRLS money, was responsible for the drowning. collecting naiwaw Well, please dont do It on the and addresses. No canvas sin? Kolhnbt "I should think the women voting ruction 26c no stamps. Mr. A V. frha, fctwtrfaviftayi ' far the lawn. of skirt com, Fire Destroys Steamers Cargo. in the new suffrage states would MEN and rare old Indian awS Hongkong. The cargo of the Amer- strike one obstacle. Mr, Winslow' Soot bin? Syrup for Children foreign RECIPES herb secret in Herb Doctor Keclpw "What Is that? ican steamer Manchuria, belonging to teething, softens the puma, redoes Inflamma- Book,' 10c. lnd. Herb Gardens, B. ft, His) "How can the matrons of a party tion, Allay pain ears wind colic, S6e a bottle. mood, lnd. the Pacific Mail Steamship company, Adr. has been so badly damaged by fire cast their maiden vote? FOR ALL. that it wil have to be discharged. . People who are crippled In the head Pettits EVeSalve SORE EYES- The Language. get less sympathy than any other I'm ping to whip that child." W. N. U, Salt Lake City, No Wolgast and Mandot Matched. "No, you're not! Its my child. of New Mandot Joe Tenn. Memphis, Now, boat it!" Orleans, regarded the best lightweight in the south, and Ad WolgaBt, chamMany a woman would be wiling to pion of lightweight division, have been trade a million-dolla- r husband for a matched to meet in New Orleans Noalimony. vember 2. Might may overcome right, but 16 Sets New Hammerthrow Record New York. Matt McGrath, worlds can never destroy it. champion hammer thrower, added a new worlds record to his string Sunday at Celtic park. He threw the Color more good brighter and fester color than any other dye. One !0c package colors all fibers. They dye in cold water hotter than any other dye. You hammer with unlimited run dye ny garment without ripping apart. Write for tree booklet How to Dye. Bleach and Mix Coiora. MONROE DRUG COMPANY, Quincy, Hk. and follow 191 feet 5 inches. SHOES All - 3.00 3.60 4.00 4.50 5.00 i WJ-Dou- gla a I ! ed Toils Pills aors--Mru- ii 11 Nofol1ow-np"circnia- self-mad- fOLOlSORESIGURED 2L IROUEY1KIDNBY1BI UL'Sl For Headache Nervousness and Backache dueio disorders of Kidneys and Bladder PUTNAM FADELESS DYES |