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Show i THE FUNNY SIDE T TELLURIDE POWER CO. "Who is Thomas A. Edison?" "He is the man that invented the phonograph to keep us awake, so we would stay up all night using his electric lights." HUBBELL DRUG The dear old lady entered a drug store and looked doubtfully at the clerk behind the counter. "I suppose," she began, "that you are a properly qualified druggist?" "Yes, madam." "You have passed all the examinations?" examina-tions?" "Certainly." "Never poisoned anybody by mistake?" mis-take?" "Not to my knowledge." "Very well, then," she replied, heaving a sigh of relief, and laying a coin on the counter, "you may give me a nickel's worth of cough drops." H. E. BOWMAN Mistress: "I saw the milkman kiss you this moining, Jane. I'll take the milk in myself after this." Jane: "It won't do you no good, mum. He promised not to kiss nobody no-body but me." C. E. MOORE "Say," yelled the chief of police, "what do you mean by speeding along al-ong Fifth Avenue like a madman? You'll kill somebody. Why in the i blazes don't you use your noodle?" j "Noodle!" gasped Moore, "where , in the heck is the noodle? I push-i push-i ed and pulled and jiggered every darn thing on the dashboard, and could'nt stop her." M. P. LEWIS ! "You haven't many buildings in I this town of your's." "I know," responded the enthusiastic enthus-iastic realtor, "but look at the parking park-ing space!" BILL COCHRANE A Scotchman found it nesessary to notify his wife that he might not be home that evening, in which case he would phone her. This Is what he told her: "I'll ring you at six o'clock. When you hear the bell you will know it's me. Don't answer it and I will get my nickel back." JO KINNEY A storekeeper had for Bometime displayed in his window a card inscribed in-scribed "FISHING TICKLE". A customer drew the proprietor's attention to the spelling. "Hasn't anyone told you it before? ne asKea. "Hundreds," replied the dealer, "but whenever they drop in to tell me they always spend something." THE EDITOR Mrs. Karl Carlton, while attending attend-ing the Rebekah Grand Lodge session ses-sion in Salt Lake last week, received the following telegram from Karl. "Remember you are a married woman." To which Mrs. Carlton promp'ly replied : "Your message received, too late." Young husband to nurse: "Quick, am I a father or a mother?" |