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Show JMnhd about The Gabble of Tourists. GRAND CANYON, ARIZ. It gets on your nerves to stand on the rim of this scenic wonder and hear each successive tourist say, "Well, if any artist painted it just as it is nobody would believeit! " After I heard 174 separate and distinct tourists repeat the above it got on my nerves and I sought sur- r" J.ittSC cease far from the J& ' maddening round- ' ' y - I tripper, hoping to : escape the common- at, fjj 1 place babbling of s eastern sight-seers , and revel in the " , salty humor of the unspoiled West. And v ' j I ran into a native yj 1 who said, with the tnufM. afcaat-ri cute air of having IrvinS.Cobb just thought it up, "Yes, sir, I never felt better or had less." And I encountered a gentleman who in parting called out, "Say, kid, don't take in any wooden nickels." And then, speaking of someone else, remarked, "If I never see that guy again it'll be too soon." Renaming Hors cVOeuvree. THE controversy over giving a more American name to hors d'oeuvres which some cannot pronounce pro-nounce and none can digest rages up and down the land. What Sam Blythe, that sterling eater, calls these alleged appetizers you couldn't print in a family newspaper, news-paper, Sam's idea of a before-dinner nicknack being a baked ham. A sturdy Texas congressman calls them doo-dabs. But if I were living abroad again, I know what I'd call them. When you behold the array of this and that, as served at the .beginning of luncheon in the average table d'hote restaurant over there, afnd especially especial-ly in France, you are -gazing upon what discriminating customers left on their plates at supper the night before. Scrambled Cooking. DOWN below Flagstaff, Ariz., but somewhat to the eastward, in a picturesque city which saddles the international boundary, I found a unique condition. The best American food available is across the Mexican line at a restaurant owned by a Greek gentleman gen-tleman with a Chinese cook in the kitchen. But the best Mexican cookery cook-ery is done well over on the American Ameri-can side by a German woman whose husband is an Italian. So our own native-born citizens, when hungry for the typical dishes of New England or Dixie, journey beyond the border patrols, passing on their way many of their Spanish-speaking neighbors bound four miles northward for a bit of superior su-perior tamales and the more inflammatory in-flammatory brands of chili. Dueling a la Europe UNTIL Dr. Franz Sarga, the dueling duel-ing husband of Budapest, really serves one of his enemies en bro- : chette, as it were, instead of just trimming off hangnails and side whiskers, I decline to get worked up. You remember the Doc? He set out to carve everybody in Hungary Hun-gary who'd snooted his lady wife and found himself booked to take on quite a large club membership. But so far he hasn't done much more damage than a careless chiropodist could. Once, in Paris, I was invited to a duel. I couldn't go, having a prior engagement to attend the World war, which was going on at that time, so I sent a substitute. He reported that after the principals prin-cipals exchanged shots without peril, per-il, except to some sparrows passing overhead, all hands rushed together, togeth-er, entwining in a sort of true-love knot. The Forgotten Man. THOSE whose memories stretch that far back into political antiquity an-tiquity may recall the ancient days that seem so whimsically old-fashioned now, when our present President Presi-dent was running the first time on a platform which, by general consent, con-sent, was laughed off immediately following election. He promised then to do something for the forgotten forgot-ten man. Remarks were also passed about balancing the budget right away. We needn't go into that. But the forgotten man figured extensively ex-tensively in the campaign. Then, for awhile, popular interest in him seemed to languish. So many new issues came up suddenly, some, like dyspepsia symptoms, being but temporary tem-porary annoyances, and some which lingered on and abide with us yet, including Mr. John L. Lewis, the well-known settee. And now, after these five changeful, change-ful, crowded years, we have solved the mystery we know who the forgotten for-gotten man is. The name is Tug-well, Tug-well, spelled as spoken, but you can pronounce it "Landon" and get practically the same general re-cults. re-cults. IRVIN S. COBB. WNU Service. |