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Show Tale of Village t Firemen i k : I j By RING LARDNER ! To the Editor: I won't give no bint as to the identity iden-tity of the town where the scene of this little article is laid only to say that it is a suburb of the largest city east of Green Kiver, Wyoming, aud can he readied by motor from the midst of the large city referred to in 35 minutes. Well, like practically every town of a population of 12 aud upwards this town has got a fire dept. aud like a whole lot of them, this fire dept is what Is known as a volunteer fire dept which means that the members ain't supposed to get nothing but glory. Weli, they's a man living in this town who is In the theatrical business in one way and another and one day the chief of the fire dept asked him would he join the fire dept and he says yes on acct. of being public pub-lic spirited. So he bought himself a rubber coat and a helmet and a pair of rubber' boots and staid home several sev-eral nights with the windows open so as he would sure and hear what is known in the town as the sireen. Well, the sireen did not blow and did not blow and finely our hero, who we will call Mr. Kloot, reed, a card saying they would be a meeting of the dept. at the fire house the following fol-lowing night and would be please try and attend. The dept meets once every 2 weeks, to disgust prohibition. Well, Mr. Kloot attended the meeting and pretty near all the members was there and he knowed the most of them. The chief Is a building contractor con-tractor and the asst. chief is the town's most prominent plumber. Others who he recognized was all well known citizens In various walks of life. Amongst them was a dentist, the supt of the gas company, a plasterer, a painter, a mason, a paper hanger, an insurance man and etc. Weli, they sat around the whole evening and disgusted prohibition and the sireen did not blow, but the meeting meet-ing could not of been adjourned more than 5 or 10 minutes when it did blow and the firemen rushed back to the fire bouse and dumb aboard the 3 vehicles with which the dept. is equipped. Mr. Kloot happened to board the same vehicle as the chief and the both of them was fight close to the driver. "Whose place is it?" shouted the chief as the vehicle tore recklessly down Boulevard. "L. M. Taylor's," the driver shouted back. L. M. Taylor being be-ing the town's millionaire, worth more than 5150,000. "Well, what's your hurry?" shouted the chief and the driver slowed down a little, wile Mr. Kloot did not know what to think. Well, they got to the fire and it did not look like a very big fire for such a big house and in fact Mr. Taylor's Chinese help had just about put it out with the aid of a few seltzer bottles, but the fire dept seemed to think the danger was nowheres near over and wile some of them connected a couple of sections of hose with the nearest hydrants, others entered the house through the front and back doors and up ladders through the 2d. story windows and begin wielding their axes vs. walls, closets and etc. One stream of water was turned on the entire upstairs and another on the ground floor and in a few minutes the family and the servants and the firemen fire-men moving hither and thither was Instinctively shouting ship ahoy. Mr. Kloot strayed into the bathroom and found the asst chief cutting holes in the different pipes. "Safety first," said the asst. chief. "Many a home has burned to the ground on acct. of hidden flames in the plumbing." Mr. Kloot walked into a master bedroom on the 2d floor and seen 2 firemen with axes excavating the lioor. "Safety first," said one of them. "If we should all half to go downstairs in a hurry, they'd be a panic on the stairs so it is best to have a place big enough to drop through." Mr. Kloot encountered Mr. Taylor, the owner of the house. A couple of firemen was talking to him. "Wa" you covered by Insurance? asked one of them. "Not fully." says Mr. Taylor. Tay-lor. "Well." says the fireman, "this should ought to learn you a lesson." "This tire." said the other lireuuin to Mr. Taylor, "was caused by riefec j rive wiring If you would use cas for j 'ight a thing like tin's could not happen " Mr. Kloot next met Mrs. Taylor and i bet two kids in company with slili j another fireman. The lady anrl the , kids was open mouilted willi horror, and the fireman was looking Into i their mouths. "Madam." he says. ! "you have got a uilvam-ed case of pyorrhea and join kids has got cavi-I cavi-I ties that makes the grand canyon look like a dimple. II is a good tiling I happened to drop in." In the early hours of the morning .' the firemen decided they was nothing more to be done and lelt what rniu'lil now he laughingly referred to as the house. Mr. Kloot was the last to j leave and Mr Taylor accompanied ' him to what had formerly been the 1 front door. "1 feel like 1 had been giving a old- j fashioned at home," said Mr. Taylor I ami pulled out of his pocket a small i pack of cards, the business cards ol ! the town's volunteer lire dept. j Next morning Mr. Kloot called up ' tlie chief a:nl suhmiited his resiirna tioti. i What's the Id-ar?" asked tlie chief ! "Nothing special.'' replied Mr. Kloot. j "only that I'm in the theatrical husi- j ness." i I bv th Bell Syndicate. Inc. . I |