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Show -:--..:-m:-:-:-:::-:-w- ? Telephone Directory $ :: vs. Encyclopedia j- By RING LARDNER Iji To the F-ditor : They seems to be a few people in the United Stales that still thinks we wasn't justified or something in declaring de-claring war on Germany, but 1 guess these bi.ds would feel different if they Slopped to think that it was a German Ger-man that invented the telephone and if l.ouvain and the sinking of the Louisiana was a crime, what about the invention of tile telephone which comes from the 2 Greek words tele, meaning far oil, and phone, meaning sound and maybe it is on uccL of me liveing in Great Neck which isn't far from the Sound why maybe that is why t lie telephone service isn't so well you know. When a man stops to think thai the telephones are invented by a German, why you can't help but believe the rest about thein lot iiisL inventing tear gas and etc. but not ouly that but it also shows how vs. democracy they was when they invented something some-thing that nobody but ouly the leisure class cuu use because for insL 1 und you could not uener afford it even if we ouly figured our lime on lUc per hr. which nobody gets as little as that now days ouly the president of Harvard Har-vard college or a soldier oi something. some-thing. For insl. if 1 am out here in Great Neck and want to talk to somebody some-body in N. i'. City why it wouldn't only cost n,e about $2.0'J to go down lliere and see them why if I telephoned it would be 30c for the call und 2 days to put it through aud if 1 worked on a b' hr. basis on 10c per hr. why thai would be u total of $1.0U for the 2 days that il took for tliem to put the telephone call through where 1 could go down aud see them and get buck in 3 his. or some such figure. But in the case of the leisure class, it's different as the ouly real work they half to do the whole yr. around is make out their income tax blanks which only takes A months to figure out how they can beat the gov't, and if it was not for the telephone they wouldn't know what to do the rest of their time where us now when they get tired -f poker and bridge and etc. and have got a few days left on their hands why all as Ihey half to do to kill a couple of days is try and get somebody on the telephone. But I don't want my genial readers to think this crabby article means that I don't hold no brief for the telephone tele-phone company. On the other hand. If it was uot for a German inventing tlie telephone why they wouldn't of been no American inventing the telephone tele-phone directory which is the greatest institution we got left here from a .imuseuieut pt. of view. The telephone directory has nevei been gave the credit it deserves and personly 1 have t 1 regret in life which is that 1 didn't keep all tlie telephone directories which was ever gave to nie as it would save nie from buying a cyclopedia wliicli costs $-9 a case which opposed to a telephone directory that don't cost nothing if you ever get it and has got 8 or 9 times as many names in it and besides be-sides that tlie names in the cyclopedia is !)07o dead compared to the names in tlie telephone directory which is" only S0 dead when you try and call them up. 1 alsj wished 1 could bring 4th a modern vol. to prove my assertions, hut unfortunately the only telephone books 1 got in the house is tlie latest oue from Great Neck where you already al-ready know the number of the grocery store and the butcher shop and the taxi cab Co. and Mr. (Juan win, loans you money and also the JS'. Y. City telephone directory of May 2, 1917, and 1 suppose if I live here a couple more years, they wiii give nie a October Octo-ber book of 11117 and keep me up to date. Si) I will half to prove my point it any by quoting from tlie N. Y. City telephone directory of May 2. 1917, as follows as they say : In the first place it says that use-full use-full information can lie found on Page 17. So you turn to I'age 17 and the first thing that strikes you in the eye-hull eye-hull is a ad 'but says we sell artificial limbs that fit. Well, suppose that some morning you was to wake up and have u craveing for a artificial limb that lit y.'u and you didn't know how to go about it to get one and Ihey was not no telephone directory in the home why here would you lie at? You would half to call up and ask for information which is another word for practical joke and they would finely fine-ly give you u firm that sold artificial limbs that didn't come near lilting and you would buy 1 und hall to walk down tlie st. all out of kilter and people peo-ple would look at you and make you feel like a fool. On I'age -- they give you in forma j tion for telephone users which Ihey j don't claim is useful I but it sa'ys you i can call inform, ition free of charge and also the Co. wants criticism but il should always be made by telephone, tele-phone, why by the time you reach the putty It would he ' or -I yrs. later and I the management would of changed All told, it looks to me like the ' telephone which was made in Germany Ger-many was enough excuse to, us fighting fight-ing them where as tlie telephone di-ivclory di-ivclory which was made in Aiueiica Is a work that .ni-;hl to go down In j iiistoty like "Huckleberry Finn" or j 'I'iiscx .limes" or MHiietbing-P MHiietbing-P S. The ho.di also says that the , loI rest rn.-.tn:- for operators but I. n't i le'lliing nhoiil rest rooms fol .ils ''"il i-.-il! up I ;' ' U'll Slll'llCtltl' InC ) |
