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Show True Hospitality. They tell this story of one of the forest rangers out in the Sierras. It should be noted that this is not typical typi-cal of the western attitude toward strangers, even forest rangers. A forest officer took an inspection, tour up on the high range last sum. mer, and one day late in the evening, during a heavy rainstorm which had soaked him to the skin, came to a ranch house where he decided that he could get dried out and stay all night, lie knocked at the door and someone one the inside hollered out: "Who's there?" The ranger told him who he was and added ingratiatingly. "I want to stay here all night." "All right," replied the vofce inside, in-side, "stay there." Outing. New Kind of Sport. He had taken a day off to "go-fishing, but, alas! his luck had been bad, and when, on his way home, a fishmonger's fish-monger's shop came into view he was tempted and fell. "I want half a dozen large trout," he told the man. "Yes, certainly, ir," said the other masking a number one size grin with a correspondingly large hand. "Will you take them with you?" "Yes, please. And I want you to stand over there and throw them at me." "Throw them, sir?" echoed the bewildered be-wildered shopkeeper. "Exactly! My wife is sure to ask nie if I caught them, and I cannot tell a lie." Instructions Sought. "Everybody," observes a New York woman, "knows one or more of those conscientious egotists who cannot rid themselves ot the notion that no one can be trusted to carry out the simplest details of routine work without with-out their personal supervision. ''It. was one of this sort who went west, leaving in his brother's care a parrot of which he was fond. All the way out he worried about the bird, and at Chicago he sent his brother the following telegram: "'lie sure to feed the parrot.' "Whereupon brother telegraphed back: "'Have fed him, but he is hungry again. What shall 1 do next?' " Limited Dissipation. A small, henpecked little man was about 10 take an examination for life itisuriiiK'e. "You don't dissipate, do you?'' asked the physician as he made ready for tests "Not a fast liver or anything of that sort." The little man hesitated a moment, looked a bit frightened, then replied itt a small voice. "I sometimes chew a lUtle gum." Collier's Weekly. The Wise Girl. "What? You're going to marry Tom Kpeeil? Why, he's awful!" "What makes you think so?" "1 hear he's been blackballed by every club in town." "Yes. 1 heard so, too. That sort ol husband won't have much excuse for staying out nights, will he?" Cleveland Cleve-land Leader. To Avoid Nostalgia. "I think if 1 were a Tommy Atkins ' going to France I'd joiu the bicycle corps." "Why so." "Then, if I gc homesick I could puncture a tire and once again breathe my native air." Times-Picayune. His Plan. "You always seem to have money, Jack. How do you manage It?" "Well." said Jack, jingling the loose coins in his pocket. "I live at home with the old man f. o. b." "What do you mean f. o. b.?" "Doesn't that stand for free on board?'' More or Less Important. "Can 1 get off today, bos6?" "What for?" "A weddin'." "Do you have to go?" 'I'd like to. sir I'm the bridegroom." bride-groom." Co: nell Widow. Her Choice. "The man who can drive with on hand is the man for me," declared Edna gayly. "You're easily satisfied," replied her friend. "For my part I prefer the man who asks me to drive." |
