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Show No Ordinary Affair. ' Ves, when .losiah and me got married mar-ried we had mi awful line weddln'." I suppose it was n church affair?'" "Iiid I it was! I'll never forglt It till my dvln' day. I guess everybody lor miles and miles around was thero. We 1 1 a I music on the organ uiof I rldt siiiiilds and n best man and all I hem kind of things, you know, and when Ihe paper wrote It up the next ui'iiiiln' It said right In the headline that we plighted our troth." COST THE COMPANY MONEY, f " First Paschal! Crank-Kill the urn-1 urn-1 plre kill the umpire. Second Hall Crank Don't say that, sport, 1 Just Instiled him yesterdr.y. The Pessimistic Father. "Just remember, my boy, thnt tint higher you set your goal tho finer your achievements will be when you reach It." "Yes, I know thai, dad, but Isn't there a slight chance that I may set It so high I II never get quite to it?" "Oh, thunder, don't worry about thai. You'll never reach It, no mutter mut-ter where you set It." Simple Remedy. Ikwlor (to wife of patient) Antler Antl-er I hop you took bis temperature this morning? Wife Well, It were like this, sir. I put the barometer on 'Is chest, and It went round to very dry, sir, so I gave 'Im a pint of beer, an 'e went to-work to-work this morning. Ixindon M. A.. P. Educational. "Do they teach domestic science at your college?" Inquired the visitor of the freshman. "Only sewing," replied the freshman. fresh-man. "Good idea," said the visitor. "And what do you sew chiefly?" "Wild oats," replied tho freshman. Harper's Weekly. Our Dogs. 1-ady Owner Poor dear little Pickles! He scarcely eats anything' at all. What must I do!" Ikig Specialist (sympathetically) You might change his diet from peacock's pea-cock's breast to pluver's eggs Ixm-don Ixm-don Opinion. Where He Drew the Line. Ir. M. Dee You have a foreign, hotly In your eye. Mr. Mulcahey A foreign body, la It? Well, Ol don't objlct V a tWman, or a Pole, er a Frluchmau; but If ut'a a Dago thot's In me oye git him out quick, an' Oi'll wallop him." Big Show. Silas Hsrdapple Bo yeour boy Zcke graduates this spring? Going to hang out his shingle?" Cyrus Ityetop Bhlngle? Gosh, Zek will feel so proud an' puffed up he'll hang out a tin roof." No False Hopes. Cholly I see that lobstr r are golngr o be more expensive. Fond Parent Well, you needn't think you are going to get any mora out of me. A RemarVsblt Assumption. -Really you are the only man I ever cared for "I suppose you engaged yourself to the others Just to kep from burtlng their feelings." Difference of Kind. "The press agent here Just now say his star Is a dancing sunbeam." 11 ffle That's all moonshine! |