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Show George's Turn-Down. "Married women, for purposes . of flirtation, are preferred to girls at Palm Beach Oity and such like resorts. re-sorts. But married men haven't got any such advantage over single ones. Oh, no. Quite the contrary." The speaker was Jerome S. McWade.-of McWade.-of Duluth. He went on: "When married men try to enter the lists of flirtation' they always have-the have-the luck of Black. "Black's wife said to him, as they were dressing for dinner in their Atlantic At-lantic City hotel: " 'George, I didn't like the way you star..d at that pretty girl with the-. ermine furs on the pier.' " 'Well,' George growled, 'she didn't either.' " 'Twas Ever Thus. . A lawyer was cross-examining an. old German about tie position of the doors, windows, and eo forth, in a. house in which a certain transaction occurred. "And now, my good man," said the-lawyer, the-lawyer, "will you be good enough to-tell to-tell the court how the stairs run in the-house?" the-house?" The German looked dazed and unsettled un-settled for a moment. "How do the-stairs the-stairs run?" he queried. "Yes, how do the stairs run?" "Veil," continued the witness, after a moment's thought, "ven I am oop-stairs oop-stairs dey run down, and ven I ami down-stairs dey run oop." Something Fresh. The customer in the grocery store, having ruined his clothes, was hopping hop-ping mad. "Didn't you' see that stgn, 'Fresh Paint?'" asked the grocer. "Of course, I did," snapped the customer; cus-tomer; "but I've seen so many signs hung up here announcing something rresh, which wasn't, that I didn't believe be-lieve it." Couldn't Turn It. "Brudder Perkins, yo' been fightin" I heah," said the colored minister. "Yaas, ah wuz." "Doan yo' 'memzeh whut de good book sez 'bout turnln' de odder-cheek?" odder-cheek?" "Yaas, pahson; but he hit me ort mah nose, an' I'se only got one." Livingston Lance. Where Was the Hand? The colonel came down to breakfast New Year's morning with a bandaged hand. "Why, colonel,- -what's the matter?" they asked. "Confound it all I" the colonel answered, an-swered, "we had a little party last, night, and one of the younger men got intoxicated and stepped on my hand." In Need of Backing. "Why, Tommy, what are vou saying say-ing your prayers for at this' time of day?" " 'Cos I'm goin' to make Billv Smith take something back he said about me. an' I'll need all the help I car. get." Life. Thrift. "My wife hopes to make us all ricb in time." ' How so?" "She saw mining stocks advertised: at 1 cent a share and she Invested a nickel." Kansas city Journal. Result Certain.. "Do I make myself plain?" cried the-suffragette. the-suffragette. "Somebody has if you havcn.t .. came a male voice from the extreme rear of the hall.-Detroit Saturday Night. ' Bonds Are Light. "And are the divorce laws so libera) in your seeUrn?'' "Liberal? Say! They are so liberal tha mibody ever hoard of a wom,m crying at a wedding ul,t tht, -u troit Journal. The Clutch of Habit Ragged Rogors-I heard a follor sav dis mornln' dat he wasn't i,.lnl,v lm. less he was workin'. Tattered Thomas-.Vm't It a tor rible th ng who,, or habit gi,8 hula 0, er n,au?-Salt Laka Morula |