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Show Chatter Box . . Dear Suzy: t iu , 4 "Albert Payne is still working on his latest mystery,"The little Man Vho Wasn't There or Was ,lle'!" He got his plot last week ",vhen he called at the Ted Harris f home to see Mrs. Harris about a church activity. Mrs. Harris had a part in the Relief Society program pro-gram that called for her to dress as a man. She, at the time he called, call-ed, was holding a personal full-dress full-dress rehearsal, complete with a mustache and hat. She heard the knock and hurriedly changed over as best she could, but forgot the mustache when she answered the door. To say that Mr. Payne was surprised is putting it very mildly, inueed, as Cora said he look thirteen thir-teen steps backward with an incredulous in-credulous look on his face, stuttered stutter-ed a mere something and left. Cora was quite bewildered about his action until she got a look in the mirror at herself and then the light dawned. But Mr. Payne has been in quite a dither for several days over the whole thing. He has even gone so far as to have his eyees tested, thinking he was seeing see-ing spots before them. But, he can rest easy now that the whole mystery is explained in full. Another mystery developed last week which has been labelled the "Case of the Missing Pig, or Who needs some red points?" It had a slow beginning but was quickly cleared up by a little sleuthing. Fran Hunsaker intended to take a trip to Nevada, aid before going told his wife to be sure to feed the pig. Just before leaving he changed chang-ed his mind and had the pig taken to the slaughteryard without informing in-forming his wife. Fran had been gone three days when his good better half felt it was time to feed the pig. She gathered a slough of stuff to feed it, went out to the pen, but when she looked in it was the old Mother Hubbard story. Not even a bone of the pig remained. This mystery darkened; she tho't on it and she hurried up town for a consultation con-sultation at the iiakery with Har- ' old Black, who advised her to run an ad in the Chronicle. Harold brought over the ad which read, "LObf: Red girl pig between 3ou and 400 lbs. Notily Delta Bakery." The said girl porker did weigh ojO when Mrs. Hunsaker fed it, but 400 when Fran was the feeder, which explains the 50-lb leeway in the ad. J Then Harold rested on his oars, confident that an ad in that worthy paper would lind it. Fran returned from the trip and nothing was said about the pig. Mrs. hunsaker and Harold kept very quiet about the whole thing, wondering why the Chronicle hadn't had-n't produced the pig. but even the Chronicle can't bring a pig back from the Great Beyond not for 50c anywayl Mrs. Hunsaker walked walk-ed around as though on eggs wondering won-dering when Fran would discover the pig was gone. But Fran went about his business without a care in the world, dreaming of 120 lbs of lard, and some spare ribs. The strain proved too great for her,and i she finally broke down and told Fran of the missing pig. Two men in this world can laugh harder than P'ran "Dog" Hunsaker Hunsa-ker and Ab Reid, but Fran brought up such a close third that some of the judges in this event are in doubt as to which one gets the laurels. Mrs. Hunsaker's face is slightly red, but her conscinece is clear now that she realizes that not feeding he pig for three days didn't cause it to evaporate. I Glen Crawford sent me a postcard post-card from back east saying that he was attending the marriage of "Mister Fala of the White House." When he gets back I suppose he wlil get real formal and announce an event of this nature from his own farm thus-wise: "The cow, a beautiful black and white creature with a crop delicately embroidered embroider-ed in the lower left ear, branded at the time she was a wee calf with the letters OB (O Bull!) on the right hip, sauntered up to the altar, dressed in the simple suit with which nature had provided her, to enter into nuptial bliss for the nonce with 'Old Mating In-tsinct," In-tsinct," a bull of renown among these parts. The groom, the bull, comes from a long line of famous fence-breakers. He briskly walked walk-ed to the altara dressed in a simple sim-ple fur suit, well curried and sleeked sleek-ed down for the occasion. A wasp of alfalfa hay dangling from his forelock added to the brilliance of the gala event. After the ceremony cere-mony the happy couple retired to the northeast pasture where they will anxiously await a bundle from heaven." (I hope Glen doesn't get it this bad, but if he keeps following follow-ing the "Dizzy Doin's" of Mister Fala of the White House he will. Well, I haven't solved any of the world's problems this past week, so I will have to quit for the time being. Toots |