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Show . ONCE OVER , Book Blues, Or, Down Are Chips I By H. I. Phillips 1 "Hello, Joe." "Don't hello Joe me, Charlie. We can both be mistaken." "Aw relax. I wanna get down a little bet." "Don't use that word "bet' to me. Remember, we are in the city limits!" "I'm keepin' my voice down, Joe." "For the first time in my life whisperin' makes me nervous. Scram! I never saw you before. Thafs official, just in case of dictaphones." dicta-phones." "Look, Joe, be reasonable. I got a bum I like. He's a rank outsider. Take five for me on the nose, nice and quiet like." "Nuthin" doin', nice and quiet or rough and loud. You wanna get me in Alcatraz?" "Aincha registered?" "That's no registration. It's a signed confession, a plea of guilt without recommendation for leniency and a farewell to wife and family. It don't even get me time off for good behavior." be-havior." "Register just the same and pay the ten per cent to Mister Whiskers. Take it out of my five bucks." "So yon wanna be an accomplice!" accom-plice!" "Take a bet on this skinner for me and I'll even be your personal per-sonal bodyguard, spy and character witness, Joe." "Get this. I'm through with the horses. When a bookie has to keep books, records and a personal diary open to the public, pub-lic, the police and government agents, I ain't even taking bets on cowboy ponies to show up In the westerns." "But this skinner Is in the fifth at Jamaica and . . ." "Jamaica! I never heard of it. And what country is Belmont In? Go away, Charlie, we're being watched." "We're only talking." "But even the birds got wings." "What price you quote on a bird to finish in the money?" "Shush! Don't look now, but your tlpsheet is showing." "That ain't no tipsheet; It's a railroad time table." "If you and I are caught talkin' horses, you had better look up a train for Leavenworth. Bug out, Charlie! I didn't even go to the horse show for fear I'd be identified with the ponies." "Listen, Joe, just this once! . . . I been doin' biz with you for years and never collectin' . . . Take this one last bet like a good registered lawbreaker, woncha?" "S top! You're breakin' my heart." "Yeah! What odds you givin' on it?" REAL NEWS NEWSREEL In cutting his salary Winston Churchill probably didn't realize that paint has gone up, too . . . New twist to an old saying: "Chicken "Chick-en feed is only money." . . . Hockey fan watching a pretty rough jumper at the horse show, "Put the bum in the penalty box!" . . . Elmer Twitchell insists he took a one-hundred-dollar bill to a liquor store and got three pints in change . . . Rocky Marciano, new heavyweight king, will tour as a referee of wrestling wres-tling bouts ... A student of scripts and plots . . . Bathtub gin, the common drink during prohibition, is reappearing at house parties, as a result of the new highs cn liquor prices . . . Remember the "seven drops of juniper to ?. gallon of alky" routine whenever company showed up suddenly? |