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Show Humor I Todtav- fl Olllctr Shiiwhiin "Wbnts your big J H sister gettlu' tenched up dere nt dcr v jjl school?" Teeny O'Tuff "Aw. electro. jB cutlnn, physical torture, nnd stuff like - VM flat." Puck. lie "I think the bride was wonder- jil fully lucky In receiving so many beau- $ tlful wedding presents." She "Oh, she ijSH nl ways was lucky lu that rispect." HjH Brooklyn Life. ilH Church "I see a Jersey mnn Is com- (Ml plaining because tils wife thought mor l of a dog than she did of him." Gotham luH "Well, perhaps the dog growled less." 'IH Youkcrs Statesman. if! "What makes you think sho has a i1H saving sense of humor?" "Because iailH she laughed so heartily when she de- illH scribed tho way you proposed to her." litl Cleveland Plain Dealer. wH "Then you have no sympathy for the ' IH deserving poor," said the charity work- $3 er. "Me?" retorted the self-made man. i'tiifl "Why, sir, I havo nothing but sym- KH pathy." Chicago Dally News. H Section Boss "What Is all that ar- Ifffl gtilug down the road?" Foreman- jfl "Why, the man operating the Btenro tlH roller Insists that wc shall call him a J chauffeur." Philadelphia Becord. The loss who turns to literature Ijl The aching heart she boiiieiiuies wrings vjKH Willi speech and manners so demure, tfJlll How can she think aueli awful things?. A-M Washington Star. tlf.H Chicago Mnn "I do think our cab hIH drivers are tho worst In creation." New 1 H York Man (with the pride of conscious & flfl superlorlty)-"My dear fellow, they're wU Innocent angels compared with ours!" njU Chicago Tribune. iJOlH Nodd "Awfully sorry to hear your M house burned down. Did you ive ,., fJH anything?" Todd-"Oh, yes. After !H some pretty lively work wo succeeded ?uH In getting out nil the things we didn't jH wunt." Town nud Country. 'jM Tenant (nngrlly)-'",:he cellar of our ,M houso Is full of rats. Whnt are you iH going to do about it?" Landlord (calm. lM ly) "Nothing. What do you expect for tH S17 a month, anyway a ecllur full ot iH white mice?" Chicago Dally News. H Tho Very Good Man "Ho'b forever 'H prating about what his conscience tells jH him. What does his conscience tell H him. anyway:" "It usually tells blm, fjM apparently, what awful Blnncra bis 4H neighbors are." Philadelphia Press. 3H Mother "Yes; nnd when the Prodigal aH Sou wns sorry for being so hnd nnd re- f turned to his home his .nther killed the IM fatted calf " Bobby-"But what had tho fatted calf been doing? Had tM he run nway, too?"-Bostou Transcript H There was a great swell In Japan, H Whoe name on a Tuesday began l H It lasted through Sunday '"I H Till twilight on Monday, VH And sounded like stones in a pan. H Harvard lampoon. 'H "I shall not 1o content until we ae , H our son ranking forty or titty thou- jH snnil dollars a year," ald the fond jH mother. "My dear," answered her jH husband, "what do you want blm to be, H n Jockey or a prlzetlghtcr?" Washing. jH ton Star. JH Visitor "Yon say yon call your H horses Biscay and Bengal. Aren't jH those dccldcijly unusual names for .jH horses?'' Farmer "Kf tho Joggraflcs QH hain't changed senso I got my schootln' H them's mighty good names fer a pair H o' big bays." Baltimore American. H |