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Show How to lose Fat and stay Miserable By Mary Gae Evans PAROWAN It's D Day -all of us who were waiting for Thanksgiving to be over to start dieting have got to begin "Tomorrow" at the very latest. Remember how we all decided it would be impossible im-possible until after the traditional turkey feast, so we've been waiting for 6 months. Well, now the time is here, no more excuses, those bulges hanging over the waist band, they have to go before Christmas so all the new (small size) clothes we're planning on getting for Christmas will fit, and the bulges will only remain in a few select places. Now I know you've read a lot ol diet plans, there's one in every magazine. But here are a few "fool proof" hints to help you drop a few pounds from those unsighly places. 1. Set the bathroom scales directly in front of the refrigerator, so you will have to step on them in order to open the door. Then tape a note on the door that says, "He who partakes of the contents within will always be fat and never thin." 2. When you shop for groceries, don't buy anything you like, because if you like it it's probably fattening. I read a column by a nice slim lady once, and when she commented on how she had kept her slender figure, she said, "I haven't eaten anything I like for 40 years." never find it again. 4. Whenever you develop an uncontrollable desire for a round sugar-covered doughnut, get out your catalog of fashions for the larger rounder women and some ads from Fredricks of Hollywood and compare. Now you know which ones you'd rather fit into, so hurry and give the doughnuts to the kids, the neighbors, the dog, anything, just get rid of it. Another tip is to choose your friends carefully. It's very depressing to be around super skinny people who are always talking about their diets. You know the ones. They eat anything they want and never put on a pound. A diet to them is turning down a 2nd banana split at 10 o'clock at night, and you know you'd gain five pounds if you ate the cherry off the top. Another good idea is to dart out the door two or three times a day and sprint around the block, if you can make it without dropping and crawling half way. All the neighbors will stare out the windows but you'll drop an ounce or two. I can only see one hitch in the "No good food in the house plan", the kids might throw you out when they find carrots and celery sticks in their stockings on Christmas morning. Santa will have to be warned about bringing in goodies. As a matter of fact, he could use a little trimming trim-ming down too. Those poor little reindeer have quite a load to pull. Anyway, when you shop, close your eyes past the bakery goods and fill up the cart with carrots, lettuce and brocolli. The kids will hate you, but when you get so hungery you start ripping open cuppord doors to find food all you will find is yuccy non-fattening foods. 3. Jack LaLaine says to arrange your cupboards so you, have to reach clear to the top and clear to the bottom for items you use most often so you are forced to exercise. You should arrange the whole house so it is inconvenient and keeps you running from room to room to get the everyday chores done. Try putting the salt and pepper on the top shelf of the bathroom closet, and the sugar where you'll |