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Show Page B8 - THE DAILY HERALD, Provo, Utah, Sunday, October 30, 1994 Diner features Political correctness takes the zing out of Halloween in the '90s Halloween tricks. What 30 centuries of white male authors used By FRED TASKER Knight-Ridde- r Newspapers to call witches, today are Boo! Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It might violate your civil rights. You could probably have my house, car and Eagles collection in punitive damages. Sigh. Centuries ago, back when people were good and ig- norant and mean, Halloween used to be fun. Headless horsemen. Satanic rituals. The odd casualty. Well into the 20th Century, it still had some zing. When my mother was a kid in small-tow- n Michigan, her class fed a cow a hearty meal of field corn and mineral oil, jimmied the door of the local high school and left Bossie overnight in the study hall, with predictable results. My father was out tipping over outhouses. These days Mom would be in dutch (er, sorry, Hans ... in trouble) with the SPCA for cruelty to cows, the school board for malicious vandalism and the vegetable-rights lobby for corn abuse. The feds would prosecute Pop for housing discrimination. Today, in a world where Miss America contestants no longer have to wear high heels in the swimsuit competition; where "women take jobs at a place called Hooters, then sue in astonishment when the boss is a masher; where a lapful of hot coffee and a sympathetic, supercaffeinated jury will get you $2.9 million at least from McDonald's you can bet that temporarily political correctness is taking a toll on something as funky as Halloween. All the neat old Halloween tricks are either illegal, immoral or likely to get somebody-or-oth-er- 's league after you. Take the old games: Witch burning: Just singe one around the edges today and the ERA types will be on you like stink on, well, one of those old spected as complexion-impairewardrobe-challenge- d, wome d re- ... uh, womyn. All broom and no fear of flying. Window waxing: These days you'll only set off the light-- , e noise-- , motion- - and alarm and quickly burglar exit in cuffs and revolving lights. If you're lucky enough not to aroma-sensitiv- leave prime filet of leg with the neighborhood rottweiler. This obviously would be prosecuted as a violation of federal RICO statTrick-or-treatin- g: utes, except that most of the perps are juveniles, who have the civil right to thumb their noses at the law and be back on the street before the candy runs out. And while yet another generad tion of with trick striplings may impunity, you'd better be careful about the treats you hand out. Candy should be dispensed only with balancing doses of Ritoothbrushes talin, and an effective (but fluoride-free- ) dentifrice. Apples should be organic, smart-mouthe- soft-brist- Spock-spoile- d, le washed in Zephyrhills water and just before being handed out. Any worms should be housed, fed, read their rights and returned to their native soil, if they want, or given refugee status in yours. Even innocent party fun is inappropriate: That deliciously icky old "autopsy" game in which you blindfold little kids and tell them a plate of spaghetti is guts and a bowl of peeled grapes is eyeballs will cost you your homeowner's insurance because of the choking hazard and the danger of a sue-abfor emotional damage. Pin the Tail on the Donkey? With a real pin? Don't be an ass. Bobbing for apples is permitted, so long as there is an equal (and not separate) opportunity to jane for them as well. are encour- Alar-fre- e, union-picke- d, le By LINDA BEAULIEU For AP Special Features PROVIDENCE, contestants no longer have to wear high heels in the swimsuit you competition can bet that political correctness is taking a toll on something as funky as Halloween. aged; after 1997 they will be mandatory. Costumes are another problem: CasGhosts are per clearly a dead, white male, probably European, and full of hot air to boot. Casper doesn't get it. out-of-da- is Fairy princess costumes might offend both gays and feminists. cos- tumes will offend transplant recipients, not to mention employment-producing R.I. - The menu at chef Anthony Salemme's funky restaurant, the Down City Diner, is as varied as its custom- Today, in a world where Miss America Frankenstein monster neck-bo- lt manufacturers. Dracula outfits will bring stern warning letters from the Transylvanian consulate. So there you are: The scariest thing about Halloween these days is how you're not allowed to offend anybody anymore, let alone scare them. And if someone scares you, you can't scream. In Coral Gables and Boca Raton, Fla., any auditory emission over 75 decibels is a zoning violation punish- able by a $500 fine andor six months in jail. Whether you can react instead with a sullen but moment of silence will be considered later this term by the U.S. Supreme Court. v ; ers. Artists, business people, judges, politicians and senior citizens are regular guests for meals that range from Cajun to Spanish to Portugese. Salemme calls it "contemporary comfort food." Originally from New Jersey, Salemme liked what he saw when he came to Rhode Island to attend the College of Culinary Arts at Johnson & Wales University. After graduation in 1983, Salemme went to work as a waiter and caterer. In 1990, he opened Down City Diner. Located on a busy corner in the heart of downtown Providence, the restaurant originally had a seating capacity of 34, but was recently expanded to seat 80. (And people still wait in line for tables.) The restaurant's menu attracts customers looking for curried Collegiate License Plates Month We're committed to the educational future of Utah! You can show your commitment, too, by sporting collegiate license plates. Your annual tax deductible contribution goes exclusively towards scholarships for many deserving students. Contact the Alumni Association of your choice for information. Drive home school pride and Utah's future. lilMiinlito,l(MBr ' v "" 0? S - black olives and salsa on corn bread; a cheese pie made with caramelized onions, Vermont Cheddar, sage and walnuts. "Our customers are always ready to try something new," said Salemme, whose staff helps create the restaurant's innovative dishes. "We get everyone involved," Salemme said. "Someone will suggest the entree, and then we brainstorm on what would go well with AP Photo it." Among the more popular dishes on the menu: Mom's meatloaf din- ner with mashed potatoes and gravy and a grilled chicken salad. Salemme is keeping his meatloaf recipe a secret, but he's willing to share the one for grilled chicken salad. Serve with sourdough bread for lunch or a light supper. GRILLED CHICKEN SALAD 1 recipe Sun-Drie- d Tomato Vinaigrette 1 zucchini, sliced lengthwise 1 summer squash, lengthwise 3 red onions, cut into slices 2 red bell sliced '2-in- ch peppers, cored and cut into quarters 1 eggplant, unpeeled, sliced Which came first, the chicken or the salad? Anthony Salemme, chef-ownof the Down City Diner in Providence, R.I., says one of the more popular items on his menu is a grilled chicken salad. er Salt and pepper, to taste 2 teaspoons chopped garlic 4 chicken cutlets, 6 ounces each head Romaine lettuce, 1 washed and chopped into rL Vsssw bite-siz- e pieces d Prepare Vinaigrette. Refrigerate. Brush vegetables with oil as Sun-Drie- needed. Season with salt and pepper. Grill vegetables over mediumfire for 4 to 6 minutes on -hot each side. Set grilled vegetables aside, keep warm. After grilling the vegetables, combine the remainder of the oil with the garlic. Brush mixture over ru November is . chicken salad with apples and walnuts; a tuna sandwich made with lengthwise V cup olive oil 1 meals down-hom- e University y Utah State lwumnl MALUM chicken cutlets. Place cutlets on medium-ho- t grill for 5 minutes on each side. Remove chicken from grill; cut into strips about wide. Arrange lettuce on four serving plates. Place chicken strips and grilled vegetables on top of lettuce. Top chicken with vinaigrette. Makes 4 servings. d tomato viFor the In a or food blender naigrette: 2 d combine ounces processor, tomatoes, soaked in hot water, then drained; 2 tablespoons chopped garlic; and 1 Vi cups olive oil. Puree until smooth. sun-drie- sun-drie- |