Show This American All Team I Went to Chinese Laundry By HENRY McLEMORE IO E United Press Sports Writer I NEW YORK Dec 2 Swirling 2 around right this minute in one of or the washing kettles of or George Wong's Chinese laundry on ott street is my 1935 America All-America team t a I George Wong Vong got my America all I when an overzealous housekeeper sent him the nine shirts shirls I had worn to nine football games this season Neatly penciled on the cuffs of the shirts were by private notes on the nine games I had seen and the outstanding outstanding outstanding out out- standing players From those notes I had planned to make my annual I America all-America selection In Desperate Plight Naturally I 1 was desperate when I 1 learned the shirts had been sent to George Wong Vong and turned heaven and earth in an nn effort to get them back But fate was against me In Inthe Inthe Inthe the first place George Von Wong's s establishment establishment establishment es es- es- es specializes on tearing up cuffs In the second place the shirts had been boiling a full ten minutes when breathless and upset upset upset up up- set I ran into Wong's Wangs and explained m my plight As I stood over the kettle and watched my shirts and notes bubble bubble bubble bub bub- ble and boil I could almost see all- all America halfbacks and ends and guards sl skittering through the suds and steam and badly as I 1 felt for myself I felt worse for the boys who had been robbed of immortal fame by a Chinese laundry and a cent 10 bottle of bluing Finally Gets Break Fate gave me one break As I stood watching the kettle I saw three cuffs whirl b by with the writing writing writing writ writ- ing on them still legible Grabbing a broom handle I fished them out So on the tho counter of George Wong's Vong's laundry I picked my 1935 all But it has only three players on it Yes just three three three-a a quarterback a 11 center and an an end I know a football team is supposed to have 11 players but have to get b by on three The first cuff I examined had this notation Ace Parker Parker Duke Duke Quarterback a setting hen on a 11 woo wool nest with a muffler on Lotta sav savvy Lot of stuff Kicks Runs Blocks Passes Thinks Use Teds Ted's name when you go t to buy the corn Secret Notation That last notation is secret code folks and has nothing to do with Parker So Parker is m my quarterback On the tho next shirt was this Gomer Corner Jones Ohio Jones Ohio State State- Sweet center Looked a little bad bac against passes but who wouldn't wouldn with Shakespeare throwing em cm that tha way A honey on defense and a driving leader Dont Don't forget that tha le lecture ture on North American bird life with Lew Bryer at ten Gomer Corner Jones is my center The third and last shirts shirt's notes were filled with praise for Larry Kelley Yale's bi Irish end So that's my America all team team team- Parker ker Jones and Kelley Who Vho knows but what it isn't the greatest team ever picked Who Vho Gets Gravy y It wont won't lose a n game Ill I'll tell teU you that thaL It'll go down through the ages age undefeated untied and on just as all aU the rest will If any o othe of the other teams want to challenge it it'll be ready any anytime antime time and in an any b bowl wl be it Rose sugar finger finger fin fin- ger get flower or gravy Speaking of gravy who gets i It all aU from these bowls |