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Show j I "We see not our signs: tliero is no Hr liI lnoro acy prophet: neither is there , s ' among us any tlmfc knoweth how H long." Psalms, Isxiv., 9. L' Pioneer day. n Celebrate it tomorrow. a 'rho f'ro en S recklessly buruiag Hl ,j the forest candle at both ends. ' , "Show your bathing suit," demanded 1 ill tho attendant. "Not much," replied 1,1 tho maid. j Everybody, they say, -who visits Salt- ill sir gets bitten oven the spiders taking I j part in the game. "Pitcher is sold," reads a baseball - news heading. Many of 'em feel like 1 they are when they fan out. Hl j Local news indicates that chauffeurs I do not always confine their misdoings I to overspecding their mnchincs. Hl I j "Cummins has war paint on," saya Hl a telegraphic heading. Besides, ho dares j j any "regular" to try to rub it off. j Midvale now has a ire department; J , but that is not to say that it is looking j I for any fires on which tho new depart- II znent may exercise. II j It is a tribute io the good temper of Hl 1 1 Salt Lakers that there are so few fights, l j notwithstanding tho ever-present "Is it HI j Lot enough for you7" Hl jj Farmers blame the middlemen for tho j J I J bigh prices of farm products; but the HI consumer imagines that whero ho gets II his is from both ends as well as the II middle. Now they havo dug up a bath-tub II I trust. Cleanliness being next to godli-, godli-, ncss, it would seem that the monopolists HI would even prevent pcoplo from being HI near-godlv HI Mr. Roosovelt's expressed desire .for HI a progressive platform for Ohio may Hl l be taken as an intimation that ho will jj not permit it to bo written by any citi- HI Eon of that State. l "We had a very interesting talk on HI literature," said Colonel Roosevolt aft- HI er the reception of a visit by a distin- 'III u'sht-,d politician. It is but a step HI from that to political poetry. , j Sam Bergor expresses tho belief that j Jeffries, the defeated pugilist, will "be lj himself" again in a short time. In Hl view of recent happenings, it would neom that Jeff would rather be some- Jj: body clscj President Taft is reported to have j told the people of Bar Harbor that tho air tliero was "like champagne in a H I prohibition State." Wonder how the t. I President knows what "champagne in i a prohibition State" is like? i. Western Pacific passenger officials I are arranging for a system of stopovers j for passengers coming to Salt Luke. It ' is probably unnecessary to advise malo H i l visitors that it isn't demanded of them : that they carry away any leftovers. hI ' 1 1 ' A genius has invented an apparatus ' for expeditiously hoisting pianos; but H ' vith regard to similar treatment of ob- I jcchonablo piano players, they havo 1 never been able to improve upon the C j old-fashioned and properly-wielded j boot. . ! Telegraphic nows from Pittsburg is HiMI tho effect that people are finding snakes in their parlors and down their wells, and that oven tho babies play with 'cm, in that vicinity. Now, whon tho thing has gone that far, it's surely time to sobor up. |