Show Paradise for Old Maids Old maidsmust claim the little kingdom king-dom of Denmark for their paradise for they are insured there Any girl who feels that there is a likelihood of her being laid on the shelf may make provision whereby she can at the age of 40 be put in the spinster class for good and receive weekly benefits These benefits of course Ire in cash Some of the old maids might prefer to have it so that instead of money they would have a nice welltrained bachelor call twice a week and stay and fie entertaining Some enterprising enterpris-ing American ought to get up such a scheme There are goodlooking bachelors bach-elors enough to get up a corps of wooers woo-ers Old maids in the company wouKS have a man call on them say twice a week and listen while they played the piano and sang their favorite sentimental I senti-mental song He would say nice things I about the playing and the singing and j the singer Neither would he kick the cat that would be sure to be prowling about Many an old maid would be I able to retain her selfrespect if she could make some such provision And think too of the tempers it would keep from souring Old maids are said to have awful tempers and this course of treatment would be sure to sweeten them |