Show SUflDAY SAYINGS Hams Horn A good many sermons are aimed too high to ever hit anything on earth Detroit Free Press Some men pray a minute and work an hour others work a minute and pray an hour Call on the former before dealing deal-ing elsewhere Judge SheW ill you go to Chicago next year HeNo Im a Presbyterian you know and I expect to be punished enough after I die Life I saw you stuffing cotton in your cars awhile ago said St Peter to the recording angel What was that for Its a little idea of my own I saw a fat man getting ready to brush his own shoes Puck No need for hurryMIss Hastings i overtaking Miss Slo wboy on the way to church I Hurry hub or youll be late Miss Slpw boyTbere is no hurry dear Lot me introduce Intro-duce Mr Bellows our organist New York Herald Buckton It is because salvation is fret that so many women are religious re-ligious Nendlck How Is that Buokton Women one always know a bargain when they see I Detroit Tribune Yes said tho primary I Sunday school teacher the very hairs of our heads are numbered And Tommy Bangs I jerking a blonde bristle out of Tits wicked littlo head held It up and demanded What number num-ber is that Somervllle Journal For at least two months after a man is married he never goos down tho aisle to his BOiit in church without feeling in the back of his neck that everybody is looking at him As a matter of fact nobody Is paying him tho least attention Everybody is staring at the bride Judge Parson I have heard Mr Petti John that you would like to attend my church but cannot afford topay anything for a pow Pettijohn YeS sir my expenses are large and my income Is small Parson But your wilt tolls mo that It costs you a dollar and ahalf to go fishing every Sunday Petti John Well thats all she knows about it It co etc me at least two dollars |