Show There Is Glee Only in Hell At Ai Achievements of Kaiser E By Captain Lord Written Witten for the United Press I HA HAVE yg found that by eating I sufficient lob lobster ter one may ob obtaIn obtain ob- ob tam tain the thc sustenance that one misses in meatless days One night I had bad three lobsters r rand and went to bed hed earl early and was soon sound asleep but before beCore midnIght midnight midnight mid mid- night I found I could sleep no longer so I dressed and went awa away to a a. neighboring chess ches club de determining determining ele- ele I to tire lire my mind into I 1 sleep b by the most Intricate of or human human hu hu- man games ames And there I saw the theE E stran stranger er sitting silting ready at a table Throughout tho the game gamt ho had hall not spoken except to say Check but hut when I asked him when he thou thought ht I tho the tho war would end he expressed I himself eJr with fluency Junc and very few E words o of mine were needed to keep I to a subject that evidently In InI inE Interested In- In E I crested enormously I To b begin in with he was wholly on onI I I the side of the tIme kaiser He lie actually said ald I f a on nis ItIS I si side and also I J 1 am with him His ills rea reason on was that had It not been for COl the kaiser er and the excellent excellent excellent excel excel- lent prep proportions ho made for Cor so 50 man many mans years an and his s success in keeping them secret there could have been no war and that to anyone as interested in III tho the war a am amy 5 m my unknown acquaintance was a ahe as ashe he hc put it it unthinkable I attempted to argue against t the merits of or such sucha a war but he lie bru brushed he a. a aside m my ar arguments as though he were taking taking tak tak- in ing ing- va pawns WAR JUSTIFIES CAUSE Had HarJ not Nietzsche said antI and he lie quoted this thi- saying sayin of Nietzsche's You have h heard ald that a a. good 00 1 cau r justifies any war but I Ia Isay Isay say a unto you Oll that a good war justifies jus an any cause My acquaintance ar argued u or he laid it down like Jike an axiom m and antI s swept pt on that this was waR wasa a Sl good war The kaiser would win he lie said because the difficulties of ot I i I II I taking London were less than the lie difficulties of ot taking If Ie he could take one ono he lie could take the ot other her I pointed out that the march on Petro Petrograd Iad was a mere trick a disgraceful disgraceful dis dis- graceful violation of a treaty be before he- he fore the Ink was dry the duping of or ormen men who trusted him rho The stranger wrinkled wrinkled- his lips lip slowly away front from his teeth teeth-I teeth teeth-if If It was a smile I did not like it That Is the right way to take a town ho lie said al Why h not London he answered You want peace here one of ot these days lays you'll ou h have havo O l It U. And AmI then Then that slow smile again If It it was a Q smile Well We'll never quarrel among amont our- our I es i said salcI and make peace like But Tut I 1 heard him him muttering to hh himself as mis I spoke Sloke lieber kaiser r I lieler kaiser You dont don't know what the kaiser can do 10 ho lie said Eald I 1 1 know ow I AAl said taid that he lie has hag caused ships 8 to bo ho sunk with Jiun- Jiun of or women on board I know that hat he lie ha has made mado a a. martyrdom of or mi n innocent nation and a shambles of or open towns that hat he has curi cor- cor i and wasted his hit people and de a devastated his hh neighbors and antI broken tIle the laws of oC man and thes the tho s i I houses o of God not even en children I have hac escaped him HORRIBLE CONTENTMENT ENT I I noticed while I was 15 speaking th that t smile again growing worse olse and amid worse as he lie muttered kaiser but buthen when hen I came caine to the children he rubbed his chin chum with witha a certain horr horrible ble contentment I blue sparks were n flying in up between his fingers and that bristly chin Torn to pieces b by bombs bomb I Isaid Isaid I said and amI mutilated by soldiers But his satisfaction increased and the more it increased the moro more ho lie rubbed his chin The sparks were growing and flashing up past his face till his head w was wa's was s hidden in iii flames although the dark bulk of or it hinted still at that smile The flames lames spread till his body was blue with them and then the floor cau caught ht tire lie lieber kaiser he said rhen Then he plunged downward home through the burning humin floor with the tho rasp that a it hi big shell I makes make as it dips ps to lie t-he trench |