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Show THE BULLETIN. BINGHAM CANYON, UTAH ' SMART ROOKIE The sergeant was quizzing a group of rookies. "Smith," he asked, "what's the first thing you do when cleaning a rifle?" "I look at the number," answered the private. "What's that got to do with it?" the sarge barked. "That," answered Smith, "is to make sure I'm cleaning my owe gun!" Let's Get Straight! A gangling youth walked to the clerk of the court and announced he wanted a marriage license. "Cer-tainly." said the clerk. "Where's the bride-elect?- " "What a mean, bride-elect?- " asked the youngster. "There warn't no election this gal appointed her-self." Hot Seat "Look," the attorney pleaded with his client, "you've just got to give me more facts to work with. Don't you understand, man, that you're facing the electric chair?" The prisoner looked not at all concerned. "That's okay by me," he said. "Just make sura I don't have to sit in it I" Separation Millie: "What did Jim and Mary do about their house when they got their divorce?" Mollie: "Mary says they divided It, half and half." Millie: "How could they do that?" Mollie: "Oh, she's agreed to stay Inside and he's agreed to stay out-side." NATURE BOY jTy "Above all," the doctor argued, "you must eat more fruit, and par-ticularly the skin of the fruit. The skin contains all the vitamins. What, by the way, is your favorite fruit?" The patient looked gloomy. "Co-conuts," he said. Too Much Trouble A minister advertised for a handyman and the next morning a neat young man rang the bell. "Can you start the fire and have breakfast ready by seven o'clock?" asked the minister. The young man thought he could. "Can you polish all the silver, wash the dishes and keep the house and grounds neat and tidy?" was the next question. "Look, Reverend," protested the young man. "I came here to see about getting married, but if it's going to be anything like that, you can count me out right now!" TOUGH COURSE A novice golfer approached the first tee, nervously glancing around to see if he were, being observed. Sure enough, there were about 30 people sitting on the club house porch. Undaunted he teed up, se-lected his club, swung It in a mighty arc and missed. He swung again and again, missing the ball each time. Finally, he wiped his fore-head, turned to his audience and said, "Tough course, ain't it?" A Question "Hello! Is this the city bridge department?" "Yes! What can we do for you?" "How many points do you get for a little slam?" CONSERVATION A speaker was lecturing on for-est eserve. "I don't suppose," said he, "that there's a person In the house who has done a single thing to conserve onr Umber re-sources." Silence ruled for several sec-onds, and then a meek voice from the rear of the ball timidly retorted, "I once shot a wood-pecker." . V'RG'L By Len Kim WHAT KlWD OF Uld.wmTE) L A , MVJLlM v7 NO f ' -- . jl Chairs, Table Are Simple Home Projects jfC ChiR-mttiinJ-FOLOIN CEMENT r"lAGSTONES-ATTeRN-THESE comfortable, light and A graceful chairs and the folding table are "simple projects for the home carpenter. Pattern 348 for chairs and 349 for the table give actual-siz- e cutting guides. Pattern 229 shows every step for making cement flagstones. Patterns are 25c each. WORKSHOP PATTERN SERVICE Drawer 10 Bedferd Hills. New Tars CLASSIFIED DEPARTMENT HELP WANTED WOMEN WOMAN Csok, steady Job on must be clean. Must be able toranch, cook for 10 or more. Completely modern kitch-en, room with bath. John F. Ceenej Sena, Harlowten, Montana. MISCELLANEOUS SONGS and Lyrlca wanted by ASCAP and BMI Publisher! Agent. Submit for free exam., OTH CENTURY MUSIC AGENCY, 7S Santa Clara At., Oak-lan- d, Calif, SERVICES OFFERED i STOVE REPAIR j Repair parts for all make stoves, I rangea, heaters, furnacea. Write for 8rtoicrees, give make and model. Omaha Co., H04 Pengles, Omaha, Nebr. WANTED TO BUY WANTED Scrap Iron, Steel and Cast Also Surplus Items MONSEY IRON & METAL CO. - .. 760 g. Hrd West Salt l.ahe CHy, IHaa Buy U.S. Defense Bonds! "Miracle Drug" say SURIN Users Pains ef Arthritis. Rheumatism, Neuritis, Lumbago, Bursitis. , Relief Can Start In Minutes TAers's fetsmal doting with SURIN Nothinr to swallow and wait anxiously far relief. You simply apply SURIN rirht at the point of pain and blessed relief starts as penetration beneath the skin ret under way. Of course there's reason for this wonder-workin- g new external fast pain relief medicine. It't mtkaeholint, recent chemical born of research in a great laboratory. It acta speedily to aid penetration of SURIN's pain-quelli- ingredients. . Hethacholine also causes deeper, longer ' lasting pain relief and increased peed-o- p of local blood supply. Tested oa ehronla rheumstlca m large an!-ren-ltr noipital It brought faat relief to 73 patients and la 77. To-tally different from rubs and liniment, modern SURIN bring fatter re-lief, longer without burning or bluteHngj without unpleasant edor or grease. Simply smooth ea SURIN at the point of pain and feel pain ease In minutes. Money-bac- k St --oui drug store if SURIN doesn't relieve muscle pain faster and better than anything you've ever used. A generous Jar easts lUt. 'SURIN im not a ewre for env of (asm eimdittoite. cKessea Rsbbias. lea, Srlilgassrt f, Ceaa. By INEZ GERHARD ALDO RAY, player, frogman and town consta-ble, is considered by Columbia Pic-tures Us hottest find since John Derek. "Saturday's Hero" was his first picture; fellow players and ex-ecutives were enthusiastic about him from the start. As a reward he stepped right into the male lead in "The Marrying Kind," opposite Judy Holllday, the sort of role that more experienced actors would give their ears to get. An old knee injury prevented his playing football after he was discharged from the navy, 10 his townsmen in Crockett, Calif., elected him constable. A Columbia Pictures ad prompted him to try his hand at acting. Ray Milland, who'll be seen next In "Bugles in the Afternoon," sus-pects that his young son, Danny, has inherited his own restless na-ture. "He won't even stay In his own backyard," said Ray. "I hate to think what he'll be like at my age!" He has not only traveled all "'4i y3kH i )tm , RAT MILLAND over the globe, but is one of the few actors who like to work on locations as far from home as possible. Will Rogers, Jr., after two months' hard work, Is "almost as good as his old man" at swinging a rope, according to Ben Peaty. Peaty, an old-tim- e roping companion of Rog-ers, Sr., has been tutoring Jr. for "The Story of Will Rogers". Gloria McMillan and Dick Crenna, who portray the bright, wholesome high school students on the CBS "Our Miss Brooks" show, have been named for radio to promote Sunday school week, April 14-2- The week's slogan is "Rebuild character into our youth of today;" It's an all-fait-h educational project. The show is heard Sundays at 6:30 P.M., EST. Jean Renoir's technicolor "The River" runs on and on; it's in its 28th week at New York's Paris thea-tre, shown twice a day. Those who have seen it want to see it again; those who haven't actually apologize (or not getting there. Tony Hope, Bob's son, wants to be a comedian like dad. In the last year he has made two brief appearances on his father's radio show, one holding a script In the bandaged hand he'd broken while playing basketball. This sounds fantastic, but actors and technicians of RKO's "The Half-Bree- swear it's true. Five, Including Robert Young, Frank Wil-cox and Lee MacGregor, lost their voices while on location near Sed-on- a, Arizona. A doctor prescribed, said they'd be well in two days. A Navajo medicine man dosed them with kerosene and sugar; they re-covered in half an hour I "F.D.R. Hyde Park," a pictorial film which was shot at the late President's birthplace at Hyde Park, N.Y., has been accepted by the li-brary of congress for its permanent archives. The film, most compre-hensive pictorial presentation made of the boyhood background and his-tory of F.D.R., is being released to theatres and social, civic and his-torical associations. John Berardino, who plays Tony Lazzerl in "Alexander, the Big Leaguer," was a child actor in "Our Gang" comedies. Last month he said he was quitting baseball for acting, but Manager Hank Green-ber- g signed him again with the Cleveland Indians; pursuaded him over the telephone to change his mind. However, Berardino insists he'll return to acting eventually. "Strike It Rich" has drawn more than a million letters from fans in two years; now two studios want to base a film on it. Warren Hull, its star, deserted film work for radio and TV now may find himself acting again in Hollywood. ODDS AND ENDS . . . Al Crews. production chief for the Protestant Broadcasting and Film Commission, has flo to Germany to tape-re- r rd a show dealing with the refugee problem there, to be broadcast later by NBC . i . "Juvenile Jury" may be back on the air as a summer re-placement on both radio and tele-vision for the Groucho Marx show . . . Charlton Heston, circus boss of The Greatest Show on Earth", served three years as a gunner with the Eleventh Air Force. SUNNYSIDE . by dork S. Horn j Pickles Pickles preserved in brine are susceptible to spoilage. Use about one teaspoon of oil poured on the surface after the jar is opened to prevent the growth of mold. Moist Bread If you want to keep bread moist and fresh, store in a plastic bag and refrigerate. Unless the bag is used, mold may develop on the bread. . RIMIN'TIME ByPOSEN oe Shrink, a timid rum-- Writes he-ma- n novelsough While Jim Bulk, big and Writes little children DUDDY, AND BLOODY. HARD AS NAILS, FAIRYTALES. H Ft ssj m rsn 6s BESSIE By NICK PENN Pfjoy get vour Tyay voulL catch oh,i dunno-h- e always). EPORTCARP, ORSON? FLUNKED") VIT FPRO'M VOUR WANTED ME TO GO JCi ! MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher 1 E0'1 raSH&wwITl MOT AFRAID P VWVk NoT MEJ' WHERE HAVE f BEEN $S'MAOMTTO? OF GHOSTS, K'1T VSte VU BEENF0R COMING WDEANDWOOLY By Bert Thomas iVfJSWt MV VVOCXY'ARg GOOD MORMINS. OH He ALWAYS TAia LzJL; Nvw a ' ' Yurr west after spendimg where isygur. aval5kp -- N . ONEr IN HZW YORK CTY, pi WHrOMfTTSOTDTHB MEKTHOmTUM RajEVBOHIS HEAD- - J JT""1LJ cold weeir. Aney cuesr er" a --ill ch5sj rSL-- --.- A "How's the house cleaning coming along, Dear?" - S .i- - ." y. Hpt "But he's a NEW boy friend, Dad! Why CANT you llVtfe pretend to be the butler just this once?" |