Show BALLAST FOR DUCKS A Scientific Discovery That Elucidated Eluci-dated a Puzzling Mystery Few people credit a duck with the sense he really possesses said Fred Ozenne a disciple of Nimrod For years I had been wondering what had caused the presence ot a good sized pebble bank on the shore of the lake in the prandi vola section of the Louisiana marsh Had it been a band bank I could have understood under-stood it but it was composed of pebbles all very much alike rounded and smooth almost to a size and apparently diltering from the small stones round in the gravel grav-el beds of the south Several of the hunters hun-ters in that section had seen the pebble beach and like myself they could not understand it All winter long it seemed fresher than at other times and during the summer the grass would kinder cover its upper portion and the mud from the fresh water dim the lustre of the stones j near the edge There was not another j beach like it in the marsh I One winter in fact it was just when j the first com spell had struck us I was hunting with a friend in the lake I spoke of It was one of the finest ducking spots in the state This was before they had begun to make glue from the eggs in Canada When we reached the lake there was a duck to be seen The next morning I was hiding in the grass near the pebble beach When I heard a sound of wings and a large nock of mallard mal-lard settled near me Before I could raise ray gun the entire lot walked out on the pebble bank and to my astonishment began to disgorge a lot of small stones like the ones already there This occupied but a short time and the flock began quacking and sailed Into the lake and I shot several This settled the mystery of the pebble beach In the spring I was again hunting on the lake and when the first warm weather came the ducks began to go home They would come to the beach and after a few preliminaries swallow swal-low a lot of the pebbles then fly around for a few minutes in order to see if their balance was all right If they were too heavy they would disgorge a few stones or if too light swallow a half dozen more I found by observation that in order for the ducks to make long flights It was necessary for them to fill up with a certain cer-tain number of stones to secure a proper equilibrium for the return trip Afar I found this out I always had plenty of game to show my friends New Orleans TimesDemocrat CONTRARIETY What makes me such a naughty girl I cant tell but I wouldnt Be half so naughty dot fink If no one said I shouldnt If folks dont want me to be bad What makes em tell not to When nurse says I shant run away I des feels at Ise dot to First time I ever went alone Upon ze street It scared me What could I do zo when de nurse By don tin me des dared me I des keep doin fings sats bad Cause good folks dont me to it Zey tell me somefins dwefful wrong An zen I go an do it What makes me such a naughty girl I cant tell but couldnt Be half so naughty dont fink If no one said I shoudnt Boston Journal Did Maud prevent that collision by flagging the train with her petticoat No she just walked down the track with her bloomers onChicago Record What made that X rays lecturer so madSomebody Somebody worked him with a piece of boneless codfish Chicago Record Stammering is an awful affliction remarked re-marked the young woman Still it has Its advantages remarked the young man Fellow doesnt need more than two or three ideas to keep him in conversation a whole evening Amusing Journal Teacher What is taxidermy Johnnie guess I know teacher Teacher Well Johnnie Johnnie Its putting down carpets Cleveland Plain Dealer Wallace could settle all this woman suffrage agitation in two minutes Mrs Wallace Oh could you indeed How would your giapt intellect set to work Id make voting compulsory Then they wouldnt want to Cincinnati Enquirer En-quirer He Those dear little hands were never intended for heavy work She Then you dont expect me to make my own bread when we are married Yonkers Statesman POETIC MEASURE These are the days when a woman gets A poem of a bonnet An epic for the theatre And for the street a sonnet Detroit Tribune In applying for a divorce a few days ago a woman of Kokomo Ind stated that her husband was so jealous he always al-ways slept with a razor a revolver a hatchet and a package of poison under his pillow and a shotgun and a corn knirc beside the bed |