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Show JUST FOR FUN JUST LIKE YOUR YOUNGSTER. "Tommy," queried the teacher, "can you tell me what an old eottler Ls sometimes called?" "Yes, ma'am, a pioneor," was tho reply. "Now, Johnny," eald the teacher to another small pupil, "what is a plo-noor?" plo-noor?" "An old man who pays his debts." A GOOD REA60N. "You say Coloncd Dawson canH see me?" demanded little Blink3, indignantly. in-dignantly. "I do," returned the colonel's secretary. sec-retary. "And may I atk if he gives any reason for this extraordinary behavior?" behav-ior?" said Blinks, tremfbl.ng jwith emotion, "Yes," replied the secretary, coldly. cold-ly. "He says he doesn't ,want to 6train his eyes." Harper's Weekly. MAGIC. Tencher What is a person called who 6teals? .no aiioNcr. Teacher Now, Tommy, suppose I wfre to put my hand In your pocket and take out a penny, what would you call me? Tommy (fully conscious of a scarcity scarc-ity of coin) Please, sir, you would be u conjure. Tit-Bits. Stopped the Confab. The honeymoon had disappeared behind be-hind a domestic cloud. "Was there any fool In love with you before 1 married you?" he demanded de-manded angr.ly. "Yes, one," ehe auswered. "Well." he snapped, "I'm sorry you rejected him.' "But 1 dldnt reject him," she re-Joined. re-Joined. "Ho married me." As Indicated. Profepsor "To what class of maladies mala-dies does insomnia belong? Bright Student Why er Insomnia Insom-nia ls a'contaglous disease. Professor Where did vou learn that?" Bright Student trom experience. When rny neighbor's dog can't Bleep at night I can't either. No Harm Done. "What, marry you?" echoed the frigld-hcarted maid. "Well. I guesn not. Why, I wouldn't marry you it you had ten times the money my father haB." "Oh, well," eaid the young man in tho case, "you have nothing on mo in that respect. If I had half that amount of money I wouldn't even know you." Handicapped. "Yes," said the man from St. Louis. "I am very fond of gTeen peas; but I can't eat them." "Why not?" queried the Chicago man who waa dining at the same table. ta-ble. "Because," explained the other, "I can't keep 'em on my knife." j Different Matter. Pretty Daughter But, papa, I don't s?e why you should bo o down on Harold.' He Is willing to die for mc. Papa Oh. well, I don't object t his doing that. I thought he wantel to marry you. Favorable Sign. The Friend Do you think yoor suit for $10,000 damages against tho railroad rail-road will be decided In your favor? Tbo plaintiff It looks like it now. My lawyer has Just placed un order for a $5,000 automobile. She Was Settled. Mrs. Uppson I don't want another giddy girl. Can't you get me a aettled woman ? Employment Agent I think I can. ma'am. I know of one who has had five husbands and doesn't want any more. , I Warned In Time, Stella What caused Belle to break ber engagement with Ed? Prue A fire rumor; she heard that Ed's boss was going to fire him. I The family next door had a new dog, and small Ethel was admiring It. "Do careful," suld tho lady, "or he may bite you." "Why should ho bite mo?" asked Ethel. i "Because ho dou't know you " I "Well," queried tbo little- miss, "why don't you Introduce us?" ! Walter, the 5-year old son of a minister, had frequently been told by hi;? father to say, "Get behind me, Satan" when templed to do wrong Ono day the father suddenly aaked, "Walter, what do you do when tempted tempt-ed to do wrong?" "Why," ho replied. "I Juat think of you and sny, "Satan, go away back and sit down." Professor "To what class of Maladies Mal-adies does Insomnia belong?" Bright student "Why er Insom-ia Insom-ia la a contagious disease." Professor "Where did you learn that?" Bright Student "Prom experience. When my neighbor's dog cant sleep at nlgbt I can't either." |