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Show APPEAL IN LATIN WINS HEART OF THE COURT "Shure, yer Annert an' Oi wuzn't drunk, rot a bit av it. sor, begorry." said Ed Murtle in his rich Irish brogue, when placed on trial in Police 'court Monday afternoon af-ternoon on a charge of intoxication. "Ol wuxn't drunk, yer Anner," he repeated, re-peated, "Oi wuzn't drunk wid whisky. Fair an' it wus- hunger Ol wus drunk wid. "Ol wus that, hungry that Oi didn't know . whur Ol wus goln. Me legs wlnt frum under me becos me stummik wus empty. ." "Ol didn't drink nothin' but wather out in th' rlxiyvoir, an Oi had money in me pocket." "But the Janitor. Mr. Bums, said you were drunk, and that was why you were locked up." . I "Oi'm not rlddy fer troll, yer Anner. Ol hov no witnesses here. Be gorry Ol'll be thried now, if it plase yer Anner, fer 'fore all the saints (may they bless yer Anner). Ol wus as sober as Ol am this bllssld mlnit. , "Ol'll be thried tight now. yer Anner. If there's Iny mon here what ses Oi was drunk, let him sthand up. Be gorry Oi wus sober, fer nobuddy gits up to his fayte." "Mr. Burns, the complaining witness. Is not here, Mr. Murtle," said Judge Diehl, "as he Is sick today." "If yer Anner plases," said Murtle. who from long experience has learned court etiquette, "if Mishter Burns wus here an' said Ol wus drunk, he would be all wrong. "Oi wus not intoxlkated. Ol had money in me pocket, an' yer Anner knows that if Ol wuz intoxlkated Ol'd hov no money left." i This argument seemed logical and conclusive. con-clusive. - Prosecutor Wllley endeavored to stem the tide of Hibernian eloquence, and said: "In the absence of the complaining witness, wit-ness, the city does not desire to precis the ease, and is willing to consent to a dismissal." dis-missal." "If Ol had bin drunk Ol'd hov said so in a holy mlnit, yer Anner. There's nobody no-body here what ses Oi was drunk. Plase, let me go." "I think." said Judge Diehl, "that it will do you no good to let you go. You are better off in jail than out. Tou would better change your plea and let me sentence sen-tence you. Of course, under the law you have your rights." "But, Judge, Oi wasn't drunk this toime. Shure an' Ol wus sober. Oi hadn't a drink. How can yez And It in yer heart to sintlnce me whin Ol wuz sober?" Murtie was educated In his youth for a church calling. Fearing that his appeal was not to be heeded, he reverted to Latin. "Tantoene an I mis coelestlbus irae?" he said, with an arch look at the court. Freely translated, Murtie's question was: "Can such wrath dwell in so heavenly a mindT" This was too much for Judge Diehl. "AM In pace," (depart in peace) he said. Murtie made the sign of the cross, muttered mut-tered a blessing on the head of Judge Diehl and departed. "Fred Irwin." called Clerk Will Leary. ' Before the charge could be announced Irwin was on his feet. "I was guilty. Judge. It was my first offense. If you'll excuse me this time I'll .never let it happen again." "Sunday drunkr" asked the court. "Yes, Sunday, your Honor," said the clerk. "Five." said Judge Diehl, "the Sunday rule cannot be suspended for first offenders." of-fenders." ' Frank Woods and William Edwards went the same way. They were told to ante $0 each or serve It out. John Bull had a black eye. It was an expansive one, spreading pretty well over the upper right hand corner of his countenance. coun-tenance. As he had not been before the court since November 27, be was let down easy. His jag cost him only $10. |