Show 0 Rev Lysander Johnl Johnj i BY BY FRANCES L. L GARSIDE GARSIDE- GARSIDE- GARSIDE l It ItS LYSA LYSANDER DER JOH JOHN APPLETON APPLETON APPLE- APPLE M MRS TON was nervous unhappy and restless It was Sunday and she was In the habit of or going to church but the rain and a a bad cold kept her herat herat herat at home She was so plainly unhappy and ill m at ease rase that her husband decided de dc- de decided to come to her rescue You are unhappy because you OU cant can't hear your preacher he said My 1 dear wo we will have services at home and I will conduct them and she glad to see evidences of or an awakening spirit consented You will be the choir he said and I will preach and after a song by the choir consisting of Mrs Irs Appleton's Appleton's Apple Apple- tons ton's little quavering voice and Dayse Daysey Daysey Day- Day se sey 1 Mayme's mes piano which was not as the High Thinkers ers would sa say at harmony harmony harmony har har- mony with itself the preacher began his sermon taking for or his text that quotation from somewhere in the Bible ho mumbled the name of the chapter so that his congregation couldn't understand Thy garments are moth eaten Mrs Irs Appleton is scolded every Sunday Sunday Sunday Sun Sun- day in church and when her husband laun launched hed forth in a stinging ing rebuke to the women it sounded so familiar that for a time she forgot it was her husband speaking and was lazed dazed For thirty minutes he scolded the women who gossip berated her sex for extravagance hauled over the coals back and forth Corth again till her hair was vas singed Ing-ed every woman who wore f false hair heir and poured an avalanche of oC abuse on the women men who neglect their families to reform the tho world at clubs and who play cards for prizes parade the streets like peacocks and gad and gab sub She was ns too dumfounded to do more than sit back and stare at him with her hor eyes rolling and her mouth agape but when he concluded and gave out a h hymn nn and sat down clown the tho Choir regained sudden po possession of ot its faculties an and Its voice and L Lysander Lysander Lysan- Lysan andel an- an der del John received lashing a tongue I that made his sermon seem as mild as a treatise on babies' babies milk mm in com corn parison Bedlam was let loose and her anger know ho bounds He lie had tricked her in the name of religion lon she idie sal said he ic had taken advantage oCher of oC her desire for Cor spiritual consolation he lie hewa wa wass impious and wicked and it wa was a no wonder the lightning didn't strike him dead lead just like you ou women ho he said when exhaustion compelled helto her hel herto herto to desist You think it Is all right for your preacher to scold you Ou but when your husband does docs it YOU vOu feel terribly abulS abud d. d That sermon I Just preached to you rou I committed to memory memory mem meni- ory from flom one your preacher delivered a i month ago J if It you remember you OU thought It a h ho masterful effort w when cn delivered it It Then stalked as majestically majestically ma ma- out of the tho room as his thin little legs could ia talc take him hm leaving len his choir ga foJ fo br breath ath and th thA the cbs clos- In lug hymn unsung A W woman maH Hn her husband I Ismart is smart In busIne b by how hus' he thinks ho he ought to hac salary New NewYork York Press l. l |