Show Ills His Maje Majesty ty I the Baby I 1 IBY 7 BY BY FRANCES r. r L. L T IF F it t were not for the thc love 10 babies I bring with them Into world how many of or the little red thing would be kept over night After the baby haby has arrived Its Us fa la a. a ther has to tall fall down In a fit aria and kick the chandelier to attract his wIres wife's attention at at- and sympathy though to Its arrival If Jt he complained of ot an aching corn she wa was wae ready with a remedy The first bab baby is a a. more 1 serious rival than an any man knew in hi his courtship days After Arter it comes ConiCs its father Cather feels very ery much as an old doll looks Wh owner gets a n new one for or Christina and If he starts at off to work In th the 1 mornIng without ut kissing the baby's mother good-by good she doesn't notice that he has neglected to observe vary Important custom Should ho he a want ant to kiss her he must walt wait till un she rids her mouth of pins The first t accident Insurance i taken token out for Cor the thc bab baby is a safety pin and though the hou house e was WEtS run prett pretty well wen without safety pins before the baby came alter after ter Its Us arrival j for they are u used ed 1 yi everything even I on clothes lamers father athers The women who love all aU I kinds o of babies compare the kind that keeps Its mouth open with a little bird and the men who love 10 without poetic sentiment sen- sen look at the open mouth wonder J It It I Is and going to have good S sense e use The sweetest anti by br and of oC lullaby lulla lulla- i songs are sung on the stage and If ft a bab baby happens to be in the audience audi audi- ence enco that needs putting to sleep the tue audience protests with a roar Baby soon learns that lullaby songs are not sUn sung according to fashion unless sung funt loud oud enough to wake waIte up every baby n ii the block There ThEra are man many reasons why h it is h Ii a good thing to have a n. bab baby In tho the house Its presence broadens ones ono's sympathies increases ones one's capacity for love and takes the attention o of the tho mosquitoes from the grown folks folies The men like liko jJ I o to sa say a woman cant can't run There Is a notable exception to this rule When the bah baby cries its it mother can outrun an any male sprinter the world ever knew I Sometimes the bab baby conies comes into the tho wor worM world d with a serious h handicap handicap-a a a mother whose hose breasts are arc filled with indignation at the wrongs of or her sex Here of late babies babics are so improved that thc they wake wac up laughing and and when I a bab baby cries erles its father voluntarily looks at its mother to see if it she heard it IL 1 Even a colicky bab baby is 13 more desira desira- i ble blo to have next door than a phone for tor or the reason that If its Us Parents parents parents par par- keep it it may gro grow to be bo a use use- ful ul citizen but a will wm never be anything anything- but a Would you be as good as the baby baby If It a lot of or giants got around you rou with the idea that to amuse you they must pinch your cheeks and pinch you ou in the ribs and ever so often your mother took you OU to a place downtown where a man looked at you through some sort o of a machine after first scaring you to death by ringing ring a bell ben or hayIng hay hay- ing big an imitation bird sing sinS that he might make a a. picture of or you ou that has no more expression slon than a n. lump of ot dough If Jr the baby is treated right the floors always look as It if they had been swept with a hast hasty glance g and if it the bab baby is the first of or a number it Js is t gro grown tip up n at ten and I if it is the tho last lat It is Js still considered a 3 bab baby at sixty sixty- five live If H it gets a to toy balloon its possession possession posses posses- sion means two weeps A weep to get it It H. and a weep a n few minutes later when it blows up and all aU through h lifo life Its joys jors are attended this way When hen the the- baby cries its mother doesn't scold She looks it over ocr for offending pins and waistbands thai that pinch and this excuse for tears and temper attends no one over the age ot of five There is always someone to pull the baby back from the fire tire to keep It from Crom burning Itself There Is always alwa's someone tempting tempting- it to pIa play with fire tire when It is grown A man never knows how small his hii house Is until the bab baby screams ms nor how large until the bab baby Is dead As Ask a baby what its name Is and It Its mother will wipe its nose and say ay Tell the gentleman E Every time someone looks at It its mother is re reminded reminded reI re- re I minded that it is time to wring Its nose Therefore dont don't look at the theba ba baby b The father comes home In great reat excitement excitement ex ex- cx- cx to tell his wife wite his rich uncle has failed Is that so so soshe she sho will sayDo say Do you OU know lenow I think the bab baby Is b looking more like c you Ho tells her of a change in the map of or the world and she he replies The Tl baby hasn't cried once today and his delight In Inan Inan inan an election Is Ii met with a eulogy on baby's new food All these things and more come corne to tonas pass nas when there arrives in a home His Majesty the Bab Baby |