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Show fki.PhiIlipr 2r jJJ "WNU Sa-hai STILL SQUAWKING Elmer Twitchell says that when he asked the OCD for some data on gas masks the other day he got autographed auto-graphed photos of two movie stars and that his request for some dope on air raid shelters brought him a pamphlet on the care of baby's teeth. Leon Henderson has put a ceiling on canned fruits and vegetables, including in-cluding fruit cocktails, corn, peas, spinach, sauerkraut and tomato juice. This just about throws a protective pro-tective covering around the typical American dinner these days. Prevent the average housewife house-wife from getting those things and canned frankfurters and the husbands of America would starve to death. Alphabetical Story of America In 1917 A.E.F. 1919 to 1929 F.O.B. 1929 to 1930 S.O.S. 1931 P.D.Q. 1932 F.D.R. 1933 WPA, HOLC and FHA 1934 SEC. 1935 NLRB 1936 CCC. 1937 to 1939 (See 193! through 1936) 1940 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1941 J.A.P. 1942 OCD. QUESTION IN A CRISIS Have we been fed on pap too many years? Have we seen life as something on a screen? Have platitudes and boastings stuffed our ears To all the lessons our traditions mean? Have we put all our faith in microphones micro-phones And only liked our music sweet and soft? Have we insisted on the softest tones And murmured "Don't disturb, please!" once too oft? Have we put speeches and fine pledges first And in the amplifiers put our trust, Refusing to face facts and see the worst. And substituting "Some day" for the "Must"? Have we thought of the world as but a play And lightly viewed the acting and the plot? Have we been blind and stupid all the way? Here's hoping, deeply hoping we have not! Sign reported over a movie bouse: "One Foot in Heaven and Hellzapoppin." The lunch-room man asked Elmer Twitchell, "How many lumps?" when he ordered coffee the other day. "One in the cup," replied Mr, Twitchell, "and one to take out' PRIORITY MOTHER GOOSE To market, to market To buy a fat pig Before there's a ruling With Henderson's "sig." Why is it that the names of so many men In a British cabinet always al-ways sound like hotels, ointments or polo fields? "Washington authorities explained that a deficiency in anti-aircraft ammunition am-munition such as was reported on an American warship did not necessarily necessari-ly mean it would fail to go off, but rather that it would go off without full force. A 30 per cent normal shell would attain a height of 10,000 feet instead of 30,000." Newspaper Item. ' Just in case that makes yon feel better. Donald Mason, Rochester, Minn., pilot who sent the famous message, "Sighted Sub; Sank Same," has been promoted and commended for valor. We trust the navy notification notifica-tion came to him in one of these forms: Message quoted; Yon're promoted. Nice going; Future glowing. Don: Okay; Medal on way. SIMILES He was in as many places at once as the Japs. She was as cold as a Russian winter. R. Roelofs Jr. ON TO NIAGARA FALLS! "Married: Marian Walk, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. C L. Walk to Mr. Allen Tripp of Detroit" Millsboro Ohio News. The best man was Willie Hike. "Then the lights come on and Miss Lamarr stands there, bands in pockets, pock-ets, hair down and informal hands on a built-up brass rail facing a blank screen." Phila. Inquirer. It's a good trick, if she did it. |