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Show ffl.LPhillipr f SLOT-MACHINE WORLD AN EXPOSITION the other day revealed all the answers to a slot - machine inventor's prayers. There were coin machines for hot soups, hamburgers, hotdogs, ice cream in five flavors, all kinds of soft drinks, nylon stocking, postage stamps and even one device that gave you an electric razor for a six-minute shave. . Nobody reported a machine into which you could drop in some loose change and get a four-minute egg, a lighted cigar ci-gar or a haircut, but they must have been around the joint somewhere. Already the coin-in-the-slot self-service self-service gasoline pump is in service in many cities, but we are disappointed disap-pointed in not being able to find a machine into which we can put a nickel and get the battery charged, the spark plugs cleaned and the whitewall tires manicured. w w The slot machine has had an amazing development in America, and today it is coming up in a new form every few hours. It all began with chewing gum or salted peanuts, pea-nuts, passed through the phonograph, phono-graph, telephone, nickelodeon, weight machine and self-photographing stage into the hot chow, chicken pies, new stocking, juke box and shave-yourself sphere. In the journey it penetrated the world of jackpots, rifle practice, cigarette smoking and fortune telling. It is only a matter of time before you will be able to get a hot bath through the right slot, get your pants pressed in a turnstile device de-vice and fool around a machine that offers you the choice of a jackpot, a complete fish dinner, din-ner, a new hat, a set of skid-chains skid-chains or either jaw fitted with a complete set of new teeth. That is the trouble with the slot machines to date. Each model lacks versatility. We are at work on one that will take up very little room in a saloon or subway station, but give you a complete Metropolitan Metropoli-tan , opera, an electrical massage, your choice of French pastry, a chance on a new sedan, the answer to Stop the Music's mystery tune and a shot at a live deer. No deposit on a cup of hot coffee will be necessary. This machine will give it to you by electric ray, free, and throw in a buttered roll, your correct weight and a tip on a horse race. We are still aiming at further 1 perfection. What is holding us up at the moment is the problem prob-lem of getting in another slot that will, upon the deposit of a dime, give you a complete psychoanalysis, psy-choanalysis, shine your shoes, replace missing overcoat buttons but-tons and throw in a dry Martini. Mar-tini. Clink! Clink! Brr-r-r-r-r! "Hey, this thing is stuck again!" HOPE FOR A DAY Evening shall come with its warming fire Chastening the sullied dream anew, Earth shall upraise each moonlit spire In praise of the thing which Midas slew. Close your heart to the ego's Clamor, Bend to your task, let your lips he dumb, Dusk shall dissolve the loveless glamour glam-our Evening shall come. Henry Goddard Moser WINTER FORECAST The Old Farmer's Almanac of Dublin, New Hampshire, predicted a very cold spell early in January, with snow between the 5th and 8th. It sees snow and sleet in mid-February with zero weather and a blizzard somewhere around the 20th to the 23rd. The spring, it predicts, pre-dicts, will be cold' and late. On February 2 the weather will be so stinko that the groundhog won't come out all day, but, appearing at night, will see his shadow by moonlight moon-light and scuttle back buckety-buckety. buckety-buckety. Don't let anybody tell you those Chinese Red armies lack a super punch. Didn't they knock General Li from a dock in Hong Kong to a hospital in New York? Then there is the case of the father who, seeing his son at play with a water pistol said sharply, "Either drop that thing or go out and wash the flivver!" A show opened in New York the other night and closed immediately after the second performance. It established a record as . the only Broadway production ever to have its entire Broadway run in a revolving re-volving door. |