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Show KfUI-Phillipr IS ELMER ON SUMMER RESORT CEILINGS OPA is investigating overcharging at summer amusement resorts, following fol-lowing complaints of exorbitant prices for hotdogs, soda pop, salami sandwiches, etc. This column Is not In sympathy. Pleasure seekers at amusement resorts eat too much. Notking they stuff themselves with Is necessary. Ws think the dollar hotdog would b a food thing, with an extra two-bits two-bits for mustard. It is responsible tor much of the irritability found at summer resorts. But Elmer Twltchell is for ceil-taf ceil-taf s on many other items at the sum-sntr sum-sntr . playgrounds of America. He wants the OPA to put a limit on what can be charged for picture gallery photographs, bathing houses, sideshow freaks and fortune tellers. "I demand OPA protection at the picture galleries," he snapped today. to-day. "They are getting twice as much for a snapshot of me leaning against a fake cabin cruiser as in prewar days and I'm nslng the same face. When I squawk U the photographer photog-rapher what does he say? lie says photography has gone to war! He tells me camera parts are faard to get, that all the best assistants are In Normandy and that the artisl who painted the backdrop gets 50 per cent more than last year for the same waves, whitecaps and rocks." Elmer was in a temper. "And take the bathhouses. They sock me more than ever for a locker, suit and towel, and when I kick all they say Is, 'Don't you know there's a war on?' "There should be ceilings on fortune for-tune tellers, too. I paid 50 cents more for my fortune this summer than last summer. I insist that the shortage of tea leaves is bogus and that gypsies have to pay more for earrings and hair grease. "They've upped the admission price to see the Two-IIeaded Boy. Why? Well, they claim there Is a shortage of two-headed boys due to the war, but I am yet to see one In the army or in a war plant. "The Fat Lady is getting more money, and I can see some justice in that It must cost her more to keep fat, but there is one amusement resort re-sort feature that should be punished by OPA at once." "Who is that?" we asked. "The lady sword swallower," said Mr. Twitchell. "I paid 10 per cent more to get Into the tent to see her and a flame eater. About the flame eater I'm not sure. Maybe flames are harder to get. But I denounce the alibi of the sword swallower as wholly without foundation." "What alibi is that?" we asked. "He had the nerve to tell me that swords are being rationed," concluded con-cluded Elmer. DIFFICULT it voters take to rhyming, It will not be so hot: There Is no rhyme for Roosevelt, But Dewey's on the spot. Eta Brta A powerful plane is said to be waiting at all times to take Hitler out of the country, but he doesn't know where he can go. Plenty of people can tell him. Thumbnail Description He was the kind of man who could make one pat of butter cover three waffles. The Russians are moving so fast they must have a motorcycle escort. Imaginary plea of the Nazi military mili-tary chiefs to the Russians, "Could we see that again, In slow motion?" The Pullman company says the present sleeping car is to be a thing of the past before many years. No more will be manufactured. This is going to be a terrific blow to the lad der and net industries. The new sleeping car will not have the double berths down both sides of the car, with aisle in the center. It will be a car of roomettes, each with running water, etc. It ha always al-ways puzzled us that-the conventional conven-tional sleeping-car could have survived sur-vived so many years, but we shall regret its complete disappearance. We used to take a sleeper once in a while just to see if we had anything 'eft physically. Can Ton Remember-Away Remember-Away back when nobody ever complained of the high cost of a glass of beer? When a Japanese reference to Zeroes meant planes instead of war chiefs? And when you could talk about governmental thrift and hold any body's Interest? "I am going to write an essay en-titled en-titled 'Don't change barrels going ever Niagara Falls.' "George Dixon Dix-on In the New York Mirror. |
