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Show about: What They Want to Read. CULVER CITY, CALIF. Eeautiful actress mysteriously dead. Crazed worker turns peaceful street into a shambles. Mother of three hanged for murder. Nurse suspected of inflicting in-flicting "mercy deaths" on helpless help-less patients. Confession by Haupt-mann Haupt-mann predicted. Rich man's son kidnaped. kid-naped. Former President Hoover tries to make humorous speech. . . . All these tragic things on the same front page. Earnest thinkers who'll accuse ac-cuse the newspapers newspa-pers of sensationalism sensation-alism for featuring distressful hnppen-Ings, hnppen-Ings, forget that, to live, newspapers must print what people want to read about, not what Drofessional irvin S. Cobb uplifters and most publishers, and many editors, would like them to read. To publish any other sort of newspaper for popular consumption would require an endowment fund bigger than the average reformer's Ignorance of human nature. Extra: In the excitement, one more saddening headline almost was overlooked : Governor Talmadge of Georgia still thinks he's running for-President, for-President, The Living Dead. Doctor Carrel is a bit late with his theory that human beings might be dried out and filed away for a matter of 200 years or so, and then brought back to life again. Only the other night I was speaking at a dinner where there were many who must have undergone the process only they hadn't been brought back to life yet. It used to be that I had better results, re-sults, talking at banquets. But lately late-ly my audiences and I seem to be drifting apart. Or maybe It's merely poor old Mr. Cobb that's drifting apart Seriously, I think it would be a mistake to dehydrate a fellow the way Doctor Carrel suggests and set him aside in some quiet ratproof place for a couple of centuries and then return him to consciousness. He probably wouldn't notice much change in radio gags they'll still be using the same ones but, judging judg-ing by the present rate of progress, think what taxes will be then ! Prospects of a Fight. rOR a while it seemed that, when the Republicans meet next year, it would be for memorial services at Armageddon, and adjourning thence to the cemetery. Now it's settled they'll meet at Cleveland, and the official silver-lining locator, Chairman Fletcher, . predicts it won't be any lodge of sorrow either. Also, the Democrats, who not so long ago were figuring their 10n0 to-do would merely be a grand ratification rat-ification rally, replete with Farley and flags, are now inclined to go in for a regular convention, with resolutions deploring, among other things, the Literary Digest. Well, a fight is better than a massacre. mas-sacre. And upon the horizon of both parties looms the figure of old Doc Townsend, coming with a little plan, and if you don't think he's beginning to cast a shadow, ask grandpa. Meanwhile, the Ham Fish boom for President spreads like cold molasses. Stamps and Such. OWING to the Christmas rush, our Post Office department let an entire week slip by without turning turn-ing loose any special stamp commemorating com-memorating somebody or something. That means a double-header later. If you're going in for new United States issues, you'd better figure on an addition to the little home-nest. home-nest. You won't be able to get your collection In an album ; you'll need a bowling alley. Because, when we run out of people or places or events to name stamps for. Big Chief Far-lay Far-lay can draw on the alphabet and still be In the fashion. My guess Is the NRA memorial stamp will be printed in black and feature a picture of Gon. Hugh Johnson standing on his head. Peace Prize for Sale. C TICKING up their heads just long enough to announce there'd be no peace prize for 19:!,", the judges ducked right back into the sub-cellar. At the moment, all was quiet and harmony. With the exceptions of one large three-ring war and several smaller ones, and riots of one or more of the standard varieties racial, ra-cial, religious, political, industrial industrial or economic going on simultaneously in seven major cities on four continents, which comes pretty close to being almost all the continents we have. But before withholding the award, why didn't the judges take a quick glance in the direction of Greenland? Green-land? There hasn't been a harsh word out of Greenland all year. To trade one while dove in an indifferent state of health for a set of brass knocks. IRVIN S. COBB North American NitWHi:inr Mlltincis Inc. WNU Suivic, |
