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Show BRISBANE THIS WEEK Puce Lump Sum The President at Work Free Tombstone Button-Fusliing Days Congress will .give President Roosevelt a lump sum, a considerable consider-able lump of four thousand million dollars, to let him change from the system of doles and Imitation jobs, "picking up leaves and pieces of paper," pa-per," to real jobs and useful work-in work-in his new 'White House offices, President Roosevelt is at work on a "social security program," which will Include unemployment insurance insur-ance and old age pensions. The idea Is to let pay rolls contribute to the cost of insurance and pensions. This might work well with normal pay rolls. You hope that the President, in his wisdom, will include in any "security" "se-curity" program security for the nation, na-tion, in addition to security for Individuals, In-dividuals, old or out of a job. Unemployment Insurance and old age pensions would do little good If a few thousand planes came flying from Europe or Asia to bomb our cities and spray tliem with poison gas. If they came now, they could do exactly as they pleased. We have no way of interfering with them. Bruno Hauptmann's musings on fate's, vagaries were interrupted the other day by a strange offer from Mr. Standish Hartman, wdio owns the old Flemington stone works, manufacturing tombstones, just opposite op-posite the Uauptmann jail. Hanptmann was told, "If you are sent to the electric chair I will let yon pick out your own tombstone, free, and help you write the epitaph. I will make it a work of art that people will go a long way to see. one that any man would be proud to have." It should take genius to devise a tombstone that "any man would be proud to have" if he got it after being executed for murder. A day Is coming when no man will do any work harder than pressing press-ing a button, and science, incidentally, incident-ally, will make crime obsolete. For instance, the Joliet (111.) jailer jail-er sent a fat "trusty" outdoors for a cigar, and the automatic "electric "elec-tric eye" at the gate saw him, flashed a light and the innocent fat "trusty" was searched. A small metal shoehorn was found In his big loose shoe. The electric eye flashes when anybody pruning the gnto Vma cny sort of metal in his possession. No prisoner's friend hereafter can take in a pistol, file or steel saw. If you buy alcoholic drinks, buy from dealers in whom you have confidence. The federal government has seized one million one hundred thousand empty whisky, wine and liquor bottles to prevent bootleggers bootleg-gers refilling them with bootleg supplies. sup-plies. An empty whisky bottle, bought for two cents, tilled with eight cents' worth of bootleg whisky, may mean profit for the bootlegger and mean poison for the consumer. To comfort those appropriating and spending large sums of public money fighting the depression it can be said, quite reasonably, that there would be no danger In spending spend-ing $100,000,000,000 more, considering consider-ing that the normal income of the United States, in really good times, Is close to $100,000,000,000. If a man spent one or even two years' Income to settle all his troubles you'd think the price reasonable. It would be a silly mistake, of course, to issue the $100,000,000,000 in bonds and pay out another $100,-000,000,000 $100,-000,000,000 for interest, unnecessarily. unneces-sarily. That needs to be said and will be said quite often. To read that Harry MacCrack-en, MacCrack-en, seventy-flve-year old retired cattle cat-tle puncher, jumped up when a bandit ban-dit told him to sit still, and "drilled" the bandit through the shoulder, Is mildly interesting. It is more interesting in-teresting to read that It happened In a "suburban liquor store" of Colorado, Col-orado, where MacCrackcn spends I his time sitting by the stove, "whlt-! "whlt-! tling." To sit whittling by a liquor ' store stove seems a strange oceu- pation for one seventy-five years j old, who knows that time 13 whit-! whit-! tling away his few remaining days. The AAA asks congress for complete com-plete authority over nil crops, (ill farm activities, and for (l0,W,m to $CO,Oi)0,000 to move farmers from poor farms to betfr farms. It is all benevolently planned, but many a farmer would prefer to stamp his foot and clap his hands j In the old Independent way. The end of prohibition has not j-loided all that was promised, and bo'ied for, In reform and In enr-h. Two-thirds of nil the whisky sold Is still bootleg whisky. That cheats ! Cncle Fani and r.fis-ns many with had whisky. ! In big New York city, mnr.y wr-nt ; to hospitals after a "gay" New ! Year's eve. It Is little oor.S''!nT:on I to know that the min.VT rf ah-o-bolism cn.a--s w.is somewhat sm.'il'.er than during .rJi!Wt:3 y-ara. K:ng f ?z' r'i S , n -Itca-ts. Inc. |
