OCR Text |
Show Cereal shopping is serious business grassroots I ? ' VtVlfffirll Copyright 1986 Becky Grass Johnson They are out to get you, one way or another. Your taste buds have been targeted by cereal manufacturers everywhere.. It takes only one stroll down the cereal aisle of the supermarket to discover that there have been cereals created for everyone. I can tell you right now that the safest way to walk the cereal aisle is without kids. There are cereals shaped like stars, alphabets and numbers. The most beloved cartoon characters decorate the outsides of the boxes. These cereals are strategically placed at children's eye level on the grocery shelves. While mom is busy reading the nutritional value of Crunchy Bran, the kids are busy loading the cart with all the cereals that laboratory rats died on. J There have been reports that' laboratory test rats actually did better on the cardboard boxes the cereal was packaged in than the; cereal itself. (So they didn't live as. long. ..they died smiling! ) If the bright colors and cartoon promotionals don't get them, the their Christmas toys if only they can have the free trick mirror, spy decoder ring or magic magnifying glass. The last prize we found in the cereal was a wall-walker. A wall-walker wall-walker is a sticky, rubber blob that looks like a cross between an octopus oc-topus and a spider. It was simply delightful to watch as the kids threw it against the refrigerator and stared as it crawled down the door, leaving a slimy trail behind it. Not only does a wall-walker look and. feel disgusting, it glows in the dark. What a hit! And just why is it that in a box of cereal large enough to feed 37 people, there is only one spy decoder ring? Doesn't the manufacturer know that as many as five small spies can live under the same roof? This situation has caused incidents of international proportion at our breakfast table! Cereal companies are out to get the big kids too. Ask any dieter and they can tell why "you can't pinch an inch,'" or what "fills them up, not out." Every jock knows which cereal is "the breakfast of champions." cham-pions." Even all the back-to-nature consumers have been enticed by cereals filled with nuts, raisins and bran. If you watch t.v. commercials it doesn't take you long to realize that if you don't pack granola snacks on the family picnic, you are an unfit parent. All the hoopla of the advertising world has no effect on me. I'll continue buying the boring basics Those are the cereals that you have to put your own sugar and cio-namon cio-namon on. Sometimes, you even have to cook them. My favorite is oatmeal. The most exciting thing about oatmeal are the suspicious, little lumps. There are no prizes in an oatmeal box, just coupons for more oatmeal. Now that's boring! ' But I'll stay with oatmeal just the same. Mom always used to say, "Eat your oatmeal. It's good to you. It'll stick to your ribs." And you know what? Not only does it stick to your ribs, but to the tables, chairs and floors as well Now that's got to be good for you! by BECKI GRASS JOHNSON marvelous, surprise prize inside will! I used to think that keeping baby from squeezing bananas and eating grapes in the produce section was a trick!' Now the. test of.skill is keeping junior from doing a double, somersault, half-twist out of the cart as he lunges for the box of Crunchios with the surprise prize inside! There is something about a prize at the bottom of the Crunchios that makes the kids ready to hock all |