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Show MOST OF THE MEMBERS .of my family get the paper and read this colyum, which saves much letter wrrtrrrg. So this week you-all outsiders can get in on a little inside about the Mac family. I need a little help, and I know that the place to go for genuine uptown assistance is from the ol' flesh and blood. You dig? Right here I have a letter from somebody in Ohio who has come up with a coat of arms, several hundred years old, from the Mc Conaughy family. (Note the space in the name which we have never used.) THERE E NO MENTION of genealogy, which is probably just as well because we have had hints of horse thieves and pirates and such, as you well know. Likewise, there is no description des-cription of the coat of arms, and I wonder whether we dare . . . Shall we chance it, relatives dear? Before you decide, shall we consider the possibilities? A pirate hangingfrom a yard-arm. yard-arm. A peasant standingagainstthe wall with arrows protruding from the chest. A FLOWING BOWL, with background of grapes, corn, barley. And rye. A sheep, rampant (whatever rampant means) (I think it means lying down or crouching) (and if I'm in bed am I rampant?) ram-pant?) with a medieval Scotch-Irishman Scotch-Irishman sneaking up on it. On the other hand, maybe there's a crown, and bags of gold, and medals. Even though there are about 37 different ways of spelling the name, it's all the same family, fam-ily, and maybe I should contact the Salt Lake jeweler McCon-ahay, McCon-ahay, who obviously had illiterate illiter-ate ancestors (Bill is a very nice guy himself and who can be responsible for one's ancestors?) ances-tors?) and Bob McConaughy who is in real estate and bonds (see, a few of us are rich and important) to see if they'd like to get in on this little project. A DENVER LADY once told me (I always telephone far-out cuzzins in distant points to find out if they're shirt-tail or kis-sin') kis-sin') that the only true McConaughy McCon-aughy pronounce the g". She's the only one who did. (She sounded sound-ed fearful that I was about to drop in for a sandwich.) Nicest one I've met on the phone was in Honolulu. He's a sugar cane buyer and he's well-known, well-known, no kidding, as Big Mac. Most interesting was an older lady in Toronto who had such a rough Scottish burr that it rattled rat-tled the ear-drum. But to return to the true purpose pur-pose of this message: THIS COAT OF ARMS is readily available if I wish to send these Ohio people three dollars. I have tried to lessen the shock by sneaking up on it. But there it is. Three bucks. If about 30 of you will send me a dime apiece I'll furnish the letter and stamp and we'll be in business. Maybe I'll even print it here (in black and white) and you can clip it out and let the kids take it to school for show and tell. Meanwhile, I'll wait here. Remember, Re-member, I'm-Mac the Knife. |