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Show a near sighted man could have a faraway far-away look in his eyes. London Sketch. Getting Information. Mrs. Chugwoter .losiah, what Is the meaning of the word octopus? Mr. Chugwater I should think you would guess that from the word itself. I Oct-, eight; pus. a cnt; octopus, eight cats Chicago Tribune. Ono Advantage- "I wish Clara wouldn't stick her, gum on tho chairs," complained the good housekeeper. "All the time it's on a chair sho ain't a chewing it." Prepared for the Worst. Husband Goodbye, my dear A plea-sunt voyage. I bavt- taken every precaution in case of accident. Wife What do you mean? Husband Insured your life in my favor. Kxchange. Such a Language. "I cannot understand zo Knpleeshe language." said the desperate Frenchman French-man "I learn how to pronounce ze word 'hydrophobia,' and zen I learn zat the doctors pronounce It 'fatal.' " Tit-Bits. Old Maid Why should I want a husband? I have a cat tnat r,tfl'S out all night. Matron Yea, but you won't be a widow till he loses nine lives. Judge. JUST FOR FUN A Wizard of Muscle. "So you aro a cortortlonlst, oh?" asks the managor of the side show. Well, I dou"t kuow I never heard of you. hat can you do?" "What can I do?" proudly asks the applicant, drawing from his pocket a 'bunch of documents. "Hero are tho signed testimonials from ten sleeping car conductors, certifying that I can undress myself In thc ordinary berth." Chicago Tost Geometric Finance. "Do you call that merger 3-ou effected ef-fected for those monopolists a square deal?" "Certainly," replied Mr. Dustln ' Stax, with a chuckle. "It represented a quartette of our greatest and most fnr-reaching enterprises. Slnco tho deal has four corners in It, It must bo square." Washington Star. Not Afraid. "Aren't you afraid eating Welsh rabbit after tho theater will give you nightmare?'' 'No" answered the cynical first-nighter. first-nighter. "I'd rather havo nightmare than He awak tblnklog about the play." Washington Star. JuEt Asking. Bobby I say. Dad Dad What is it now? Can't yorr let mo have a mlnute'6 peace? Bobb I only wanted to ask you If |