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Show social experience, "I've been where It was." Llpplncott'fl. "Never Say Die." Spartan Mother What's tho matter? mat-ter? What are you crying for? Sti'ng Hero (who has been taught never to cry for bodih pain) Oh, I I've sat down on a hoo, and I'm so afraid I must have hurt it! Punch HI Choice. '1 can't pay this taxicab bill." "Then I'll take you to the police station." "I ll pay it. But take mo to the poorhous? and leavo me there.'' Houston Chronicle. When Ideals Are Shattered. "What has happened to Hllgglns?" asked the solicitous neighbor. "He used to take a cheerful view of life. Now he is an utter pessimist." "It isn't his fault He has been obliged to serve on the grand jury." Washington Star. Amended. The Court You. will swear that the prisoner s-tole your umbrella? Tho rialntiff Your honor, I will swear tbnt he stole tho umbrella I was carrying Case and Comment, JUST FOR FUN Saved. Aahlpy SwapuN-r foil out of a I wrntl Ih story window of the Skylcr apart ni'-nt and wasn't fvon ImiiRfd. Srymniir lhw did he osraiif? Anhloy Ho allxhH'd on tho roof r.f tho nlnotfonth rtory building next door. Chlcnpu News. The Family Growler. "Why aro von wofplrtR, HUlo hay?" "I hroko do pitcher." "Well, thoro'B no two crvinc; over split milk" "fJ'wan! IDs wuz beer." LouiBvlile . C'ourlor-Journal. Preparing to Look His Best. RnFtim 1-or tho lovo of hehen. Sarnho, what for you pot you 'alls pants tinned wrens sldo Ivoforo-inos'? Sambo Sh! Don't talk so loud. Von hoc, la invited to a swell reception tonight, and I's Rottinp d bulge out'n do knees. Success Magazine. In the Same Boat. Ctuont 1 11 take nomo o' thnt. Wulter S'unc o' which, boss? Guest Some o' that there. Can't yon read? Walter Sense me, nh. I nin't had no ixlucailon, either. Cleeebind Plain Dealer. Approximately. "Say, Mayine did 'u ever havo any turtle soup?" asked lh' .ivlKuied youth of the girl benldo him "No." admitted the maiden; "but." mid i'm I she. with the conscious dignity of ono who has not been luckiug In |
