OCR Text |
Show JUST F&R FUN It Wouldn't Do. ' A Washington woman who was conducting con-ducting the culinary education of a young maid had many amusing experiences exper-iences to lighten the tedium of her task. One morning she said to tho girl, 1 want tboso eggs to be- boiled exactly three minutes." "But, ma'am," said the maid, ''1 have no clock to tell mo when that time is ripe" "No clock! Why you have the kitchen kit-chen clock! What do you mean?" "But you have not forgotten, ma'am," continued tho girl dopreeat-lngl, dopreeat-lngl, "that only this morning you told me that tho kltcncn clock was too fast!" Harper's Magazine. Heroism. A woman Is charged with bringing gems Into this country embedded in Gorgonzola cheese. Persons familiar with Gorggouzola cheese and we don't Bee how anybody can be will faintly approclate the heroic measures meas-ures lhal customs officers are called upon to take at times In the pursuit of duty. Probably they worked in relays dig glng out the Jewels tho asphyxiated being carried from tne Held as fast as they dropped, and fresh volunteers taking their plaoes. But what's the punishment that will fit a crime like that? Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Congenial Task. He was a very quiet boy, of a studious stud-ious turn of mind, and that was probably prob-ably why his fond parents apprenticed apprentic-ed him to a naturalist. In his new sphere he was willing enough, bnl painfully slow. After giving the can nry seed, a Job that occupied two hours, he said: "What will I do now7" 'Well,' replied his master, reflectively, reflect-ively, "I think you may lake the tor-toi60 tor-toi60 out for a run." Tlt-Blts. He Drew the Line. Tho Pastor's Wife I called on Mrs. Harlem this afternoou and found her so beautifully optimistic. One expression expres-sion she used has haunted me ever since. The Pastor What was It, dear? Tho Pastor's Wife There's music in everything The Tastor Huh! I guess 6h has never listened to our new choir. Marketing In Crimson Gulch. "What makes the butcher put both hands In the air? Is ho afraid you are going to shoot?" "No," answered Bronco Bob. "Ho has gotten over being afraid. Ho knows I ain't going to shoot as long as he keeps his hands out of reach of the scales while tho meat's bein' weighed.' Overheard. Iidy Customer I'd like to get a pair of pinchers. Floorwalker Shoe department, two nihles to tho light, madam. Boston Transcript Agricultural. Knlcker Jones is what they call a book farmer. Mocker Yes, he has used up two check books already. New York Suu. Severe Punishment. Belle An(f did you make her cat her own words? Beulah Cat 'era? I made her Fletehemo 'em! Yonkers Statesman |